Hello, I'm new to reaching out in this forum or any forum. I know depression and low self esteem will suffocate me if I don't ask for help

[Angel1624]

I'm often told to " be grateful " when I reach out for help. I know I should and I am, but that doesn't equip me with energy, joy, self esteem, , so I struggle silently. I am down and tired of self sabotage, but I feel paralyze to do anything about it, so I constantly beat myself up about everything I'm not doing that should be doing. Ugh,

[Opossumish]

Reaching out is an important, and oh so difficult, first step, so good for you for doing it! Silent struggle is over -rated. I have a hard time reaching out myself, so I applaud your bravery and hope you find some comfort.

[Angel1624 in reply to Opossumish]

Thank you. I am feeling like I will here, and with time I hope that I can be of help to someone

[pinkplasticball]

Welcome to the group. I’m never really happy to see a new member because that’s another person who’s struggling, but I’m glad that you are here, so hopefully someone here can make you feel a little less bad.

Can you clarify for something for me in your post? You said you’re often told to be grateful when you reach out for help. Who says to be grateful and what are they saying to be grateful for?

[Angel1624 in reply to pinkplasticball]

Usually relatives, and they remind me of the positives in my life I should focus on

[Olivia2017]

Hi. I think it’s great that u r reaching out. I find it hard, too, especially when I m depressed. I get very upset with people who say to be grateful. Until I taught her how hurtful it was, whenever I was depressed my mom used to tell me to count my blessings. That just made me feel like a bad person because I couldn’t do that when depressed. So I just blamed myself and felt worse. When I figured that out and started explaining it, my mom & others got it. So it’s important to reach out to people who share your experience & are more likely to understand. Thinking about you, Liv

[Angel1624 in reply to Olivia2017]

Thank you so much Liv, I actually feel validated. Just feeling that I'm understood is so important. I'm feeling very good about my decision to reach out. I hope to be able to share more openly so I can get through this stage of my life and be of help just as you are being to me.

[Olivia2017 in reply to Angel1624]

I know you will make it! The fact that you are here is a great sign! Trust yourself. 🦋 That’s my butterfly of transformation. May it bless you, too.

[Olivia2017 in reply to Angel1624]

I m sorry that I’ve been away. How r u doing now?

[Justswimming]

So be kind to yourself.. Take baby steps .shower..etc..make a list of things you need and want to do ..then start chipping away at your list. Inch by inch no race...some people don't understand what its like to be depressed.. How it takes over and how you have to work on managing it day in day out. Some days I don't even remember if I took my meds my sisters and brothers act like I'm being lazy wish they knew what it felt like not to be able to concentrate. Just take of yourself and don't worry about the people that don't understand.

[Angel1624 in reply to Justswimming]

Thank you for feedback. I feel truly understood

[Windy101]

Sometimes it's hard to feel grateful when life has given you so many challenges to deal with.

This is what we have to deal with, and we have to face it. Being grateful is helpful when you are in that space, but it's not always effective. Sometimes I feel angry, not grateful. I think it's okay to let yourself have all your emotions and express them however works for you.

BUT -

One thing I've learned is that talking to people who do not share the struggle of these symptoms usually does not help. They don't get it, and it makes me feel worse. It also can drive a wedge in the relationship, because they don't know what to say.

How to express feelings is different for every person ... music and making up your own dance while alone, art, jornaling, poetry, exercise, boxing, running, whatever works for you.

Sometimes I can turn it around by watching a goofy movie, or remembering that no matter what is happening, it will pass and not make much difference a couple years from now.

[Sprinkle1]

Glad you came and told us of your struggle, I would like you to read a wonderful book written by Harold H. Bloomfield MD & Peter McWilliams. How to Heal Depression. Dr. Bloomfield is a Psychiatrist. When I read it years ago it really helped me a lot. Are you on any medication? I would talk to my Dr. and consider finding a Psychiatrist and a therapist, even a support group, I know the suffering too well, I am going thru hell right now with anxiety & depression. I feel so isolated and I know most people do not understand my illness. I just found a support group and enjoy it very much. I send you understanding, stay with us, we will help you if we can. Sending Love & Peace. Sprinkle 1

[ComingUpRoses]

I want to welcome you with love and understanding. I am sorry to see another lovely soul in this world struggle through these same pains though. I have been isolating myself for the majority of my life when it comes to depression and anxiety, and it has certainly not been helpful for myself. But I understand the reason for doing so and will not judge or force anyone else to talk because I know what it's like. I will always offer my ear to listen if someone wants to talk to me.

It's never easy trying to open up to those around us only to be faced with well meaning comments from them that only wind up making us feel worse. Please though, do not give up hope. Seek a therapist for someone to talk to (I know I sometimes talk to those I don't know easier than those I do know). I know the cycle you're stuck in all too well. It is possible to start the journey out of it. You can do it!! You are wonderful and stronger than you realize. After all, dealing with this is not easy.

[gogogirl]

I praise you for reaching out. I may not respond all of the time now as I have an eye condition that is aggrevated by computor use, but I am thinking about you. Been there.

[Sandyxoxx]

Talking about is hard sometimes ,especially if the person or person's have the feelings you are having . Don't give up keep talking . Anyone

[Sandyxoxx]

*dont