Last week I was ill all week. I missed 3 or 4 days of work and I wrote a post about it. My chest and lungs have been working against me basically. After what finally seemed like a recovery from a hellish battle with a hundred symptoms I was ready to head back to work today.
I do maintanance, you know fixing machines and keeping the factory going. I work in a cold environment but barely do anything. I went out there and did my thing for a few minutes with my anxiety running all time high as I was having flashbacks of last week and how the cold air gave me this pneumonia like symptoms. I was scared shitless because I didn't want to go through that again. My body was also still just recovering from that and I felt rather weak. Then it hit me.
My lungs were burning and my breath was short. This didn't feel like a panic attack, or should I say just a panic attack. Why did the cold air trigger it? Why was I fatigued? I felt like I was walking in outter space, I could barely move as I made my way to the exit door. I didn't think I would make it but I did. This anxiety was different, my lungs felt tightened and on fire.
I talked to the boss man and he let me go home. Told me to come back tomorrow, but I know my body will take days or even weeks to fully recover. When he hired me he was told that I am a quitter by some assholes who don't get that I have Chronic Fatigue. They told him I have a tendency to leave work too soon and I wanted to shut them. I wanted to prove them wrong. I've been there 4 months now and I just wanted to save some money to go back to school. Then again I never wanted to be there in the 1st place. Factory work is very depressing to me. Maybe it's time to let go.