Existing in desperation

[its_Gi_again]

I'm ready to just not exist anymore. I'm not even that low right now, mood-wise, but life keeps happening and it's just overwhelming. I'm tired, stressed, very frustrated, and that's why I feel that way. I am safe and won't harm myself, but that's just how I'm thinking and feeling right now. I wish I could go away for a bit.

[ckw1]

I completely understand how you feel. I wish more than anything that I could just disappear for a while. This weekend was very tough for me and I was really wanting it all to end. Today I don’t feel as low as I was but I still don’t want to have to function as a normal person.

[its_Gi_again in reply to ckw1]

Functioning as a normal person. That's exactly what it is. I'm tired and I don't want to do that anymore. I had an amazing weekend, but the moment I got back on campus, I just couldn't anymore. It's as if this place sucks the happiness out of me. How do I handle? Or maybe it's just the fact that when I'm away I get to ignore everything. I just hate this all. Why can't I just ignore everything and cruise in life for a bit? That's why I so desperately don't want to exist because I'm exhausted

[ckw1 in reply to its_Gi_again]

I am exhausted too. I think the reason I had such a terrible weekend is because I was dreading coming back to work. I was off all last week which was nice but I couldn’t stop thinking about having to come back to work today. I like my job but the problem is with the company I work for. The management at my company makes a very hostile working environment where everyone is in fear for their job. No one wants to be here and everyone is always in a negative mood. This environment is very toxic.

[Pacobusta1970]

Hello Gi!

Sometimes we say things that with don’t mean,please don’t say that you don’t want to exist anymore..you don’t mean that right?

Im sure there is people that care for you,people that love you people that really want for you to overcome this problem.

You have to be able to enjoy your job, thats the “key “there’s got to be something that you enjoy doing about your job right?we all have,we spent so-many hours at work and thats not going to change unless we hit the lottery right?thats why we need to get alone with our jobs.

Try thinking about what makes you happy when you are not at work,whatever it is,whatever makes you smile and all those things that we enjoy when we are surrounded by friends and relatives.

You have to overcome this fear feeling of not feeling good when you are at work,it’s all in your head.

Thats why you woorry to much just thinking about returning to work,once you overcome this fear you gonna be fine trust me ok?

God bless i hope i was able to put positive thinking in your head.

[Agora1]

Hi its_Gi_again, As long as you won't harm yourself, I agree that you need that escape for a while. I know from time to time we all feel like we wish we could run away from the stresses of the day. But we don't know where to run to, since there isn't a Utopia out there It's our mind that overwhelms us. It takes in so much each day that after a while there is no space to just relax and enjoy life.

Taking a week or two off on vacation is great but it is short lived and then you are back to same old, same old for another year. What if I told you that you can escape each and every day. Not a bodily escape but a mental one. It's free, it's at your convenience and it only takes about 10 minutes out of your busy day's schedule.

It's called Imagery. I didn't quite understand it when it was first introduced to me through therapy, but the more I got into, the more I couldn't wait for the next relaxing, tranquil moments. After all Gi, it is our mind that is constantly running full speed ahead that needs to be quieted down.

I hope you will give it a try. YouTube has some great videos that can give you a 5-10 minute escape, enough to settle down your thoughts and energize your body. Bon Voyage, have a relaxing time. xxx

[Windy101]

Hi Gil! I'm a student, too, and this is a rough time with lots of work ahead until the end of the term. It's pressure, which makes me want to run away too. I'd like to be laying on a warm beach somewhere with no responsibilities. But alas, it's cold out and I have so much work to do it seems impossible to get it done at all, much less well!

BUT-

All we can do is our best, right? Running away in my mind is okay, but then I need to put in some effort. It's natural to be worn out. Just do what you can. Sometimes I'll reward myself after working for an hour with something I enjoy. A funny Youtube video sounds like a great idea (have you ever seen Thugnotes?)

I'm overwhelmed and frustrated too, but there's not much school left and then on to fresh classes. Every student I know is burned out. Hang in there, stay safe, and just do your best with the energy you have left and the knowledge you have gained this semester.

It will be over soon, I promise!

[Lostjoy]

I’m wishing I wouldn’t have woken up this morning. I have quite a few friends who have passed away the last few years. I mourned for them, but now I’m actually thinking they are the lucky ones. I feel like this life is going to drag on and on for me. I too thought it would be nice to disappear from everyone until last year when we moved away from the whole family. Now I am missing them terribly, and feeling worse than I ever have. I feel like I’m never happy no matter where I am or what I’m doing. I feel like I would love to go home now, but would that really make me happy? I wasn’t happy when I was there either. Craziness!