I never understood that. Feels like more of the cookie cutter bs people use to just shut you up when you're too negative for their taste. How does it make any sense? If I don't see value in myself, and no one else does, then how is there this so called "worth"? Does Hitler have that worth? He existed right? But I don't really recall any sane person defending him saying he has worth regardless.
If my existence is meaningless, brings no value to anyone and is simply just miserable, how is that supposed to have "worth"? How is that supposed to cheer me up in any way, shape or form?
Written by
MiamiJacket84
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Good morning. I do think all people have worth, but I differentiate between worth and worthiness,
In my experience someone telling me I have worth doesn’t make me feel better because the actions of the people around me say I don’t.
People can’t change how you feel about yourself, but being around people who don’t hurt you will at least keep you from feeling worse.
I pray you find encouraging people in your life that can be patient with your struggle.
You make a good point. I don't feel like I have any worth either. I am on disability and cannot work. I have no children or family who needs me. I have no worth either.
I get what you're saying. I've felt that way at times too. Especially when I was on an extended medical leave and my kids had left home. I realized though I didn't have a purpose not worth. I wasn't "using" my worth. Regarding one of the other responses, you never really know when a smile or a hello changes someone's day. You may say hello to someone at the dr office or store and make them feel worth. I remember a story about a lady who was really depressed and suicidal. She was on her way to jump off a bridge when she passed someone on the street who smiled at her and said hello. When she got on the bus the driver asked her how her day was. She is still with us because it gave her a little bit of hope and worth. So smile at a stranger today. Give someone else worth and help you find yours as well!
Why is your existence miserable? Why aren't you taking any action , no matter how small, to give your life some meaning. Have you ever smiled at anyone? Have you ever said a nice word to someone else? Have you ever pet a dog or stroked a cat? These little things matter, and you matter. If you don't see value in yourself, is there nothing that you can do to add value? I would disagree with your premise, that is to say, I don't think it is possible to "merely exist." Everything is connected. Rocks break down and become soil that nourishes plants. What can you do to cheer yourself up - do that. Maybe just a walk in the spring sunshine.
If it doesn't cheer you up, that's okay. However, I don't think you're worthless either. Life has the meaning we ascribe to it. In my opinion, that's one of the points of being human. You never know when something you do touches another person. Something small you did might change the trajectory of someone's life. You never know how eating a cookie with someone will make them smile when they think of you, or that they've learned something about themselves from a convo you had with them. Our actions and words have power, even if we are not rich or powerful. That blows me away.
I think it gets back to intrinsic and extrinsic worth. You make life just a bit more interesting just by being alive. You're one more stunning color in the rainbow of humanity.
From my MH challenges it was waaay more difficult to feel good about myself when I felt really crappy. Duh huh? Is there anything you can do med wise, therapy, wise, anything else wise to make you feel better. That would be the first thing that I would attack and trying to feel better about yourself and where you fit in this world.
The second thing is some of the other responders have said here is much of it is in the eye of the beholder. We all have some challenges on here on this site. If we put it in the perspective of I’m able to do a small amount of good by smiling at somebody, in our world with these challenges, that’s a win for many of us.At least for now until we find answers to feeling better.
Once again, to me, your last line of saying “being miserable “is the key to everything. I think most would agree that is pretty darn difficult to feel not good about yourself, but much of anything for that matter when your symptoms are so miserable. This life of mental illness is about as intricate,complicated and frustrating of a thing that I’ve ever run across. It can be exhausting trying to figure out,. Why a med isn’t working ? Why you have side effects . Why you have people around you that are running instead of circling you with with arms and love. Again, for me , had to find those answers . Basically it was up to me.
Yes, it took me a minute, but I found them and my worth , or better yet self-worth, shot up immensely . For a while, I didn’t think I had any at all. Merely existing just didn’t compute.
I did ,as others have very astutely detailed ,but not did I feel somewhat better was I able to really see and feel it.
My suggestion is go find more of it by answers to your complicated world of challenges.
Never give up
For me I was severely undermedicated and didn’t have a clue.
I literally spoke to my counselor about this tonight! I have no idea what it means by “you have worth simply by just being”. When I explained how I describe worth she responded “you have to stop tying your internal worth to external things”. And that is where I am in my journey. If I don’t tie my self-worth to my job or weight or accomplishments, then how do I determine my self-worth? It sounds like I have to slowly rework my definition of worth to something more concrete and meaningful. I just haven’t figured that out yet. I don’t have an insightful answer but I hope those words bring you a little solace, until you figure out your definition of worth, like it did for me. You are not alone.
Having WORTH is not based on how you feel, what you do, what you have, what you give or what you think. These things can make you feel you have worth. The truth is you just do by the fact that you were born. You were created by a force of LOVE , that some call God, Divine, the Universe, Consciousness etc.. Whatever you like to call it.Everything about you is unique, there is only one of you. My belief is, alot of work lovingly went into creating each one of us. The real you is not your body and mind but your spirit(soul). I know this is hard to accept when you are Depressed or suffering. And yes Hitler had worth in spirit but not in behavoiur or cruel actions. He did love animals funnily enough. I think evil people are cut off from there soul so they are lost in their darkness. I have often wondered, why am I here ?what is all my suffering for. Then I heard the story about the beautiful tapestry. If you want to create a tapestry , it takes months of work, on the back of it,it looks a mess, lines of thread crossing all over the place, full of Knots and tangled threads. When you look at the back of a tapestry it looks worthless awful. Then suddenly it is finished and when you turn it over WOW, what a beautiful sight, a magnificent picture. Your worth is inside you, dig deep and you will find it. We are all beautiful tapestries in the making. Again I say Diamonds are produced under extreme pressure. It may not mean much to you today but one-day you will understand.
I had this same question, and I think I responded with this to one of your last posts. Sorry if that is aggravating. I think as some here have said that we don't have to try to "gain" worth by doing anything, you simply cannot. Worth is something that we just have, it just is. It is really hard to wrap our heads around, and frankly, I haven't exactly. It rings true in my soul that we have worth and cannot change it, so I have accepted that and I feel free. I tried so hard to work and exercise and increase my income and spend time with the kids and serve my neighbors and clean up litter and say prayers and volunteer at the humane society and visit the sick and do stuff that was "worthwhile". I never was good enough so I could never stop. That is anxiety and misery.
I also find it easier to see in others, or a rock or grain of dust. It just is, perfectly, what it is. That can apply to us in ways. -- I have a lot of anxiety around money and feel really bad about not having finished a degree or having a home for my family, but it is very understandable why when I look at my upbringing.
After accepting this I can do things for fun, and the things I "have" to do I do better and with more gusto.
I apologize if this doesn't clear anything up or makes things worse Miami. Suffering sucks, there is not much else to say. I think you have seen my book recommendation for "Feeling Great". I am sorry that you are feeling so down. Here is a post I made when I was trying to understand this principle: healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...
I don't know if we do or don't have worth - most people feel better about others if they pretend they have worth ....................but whether Hitler have worth i dont know its impossible to know - yes i wud say so also many were around him doing the same - at the end of the world what will happen what will matter - what cud be right i dont know - to love yourself though and appeal to others generally makes people feel better
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Not worth it anymore 
How to survive and cope with ZERO human support system. No family that cares,my illness is an embarrassment to them. No friends since either
What is it to become vulnerable and is it worth it?
Relationship and Self-Worth
