Just need to speak my mind a little....

[wallflower1108]

I don't know what I'm going to say really but I'm trying to get better and for awhile I did. But what happened Monday just happens to constantly be on my mind. I honestly don't remember some of what happened but I guess having your relationship with your friend crumble. Get to you in more ways than one, well it does for me. Listen I don't usually get mad and I tend not to show my emotions that much. Its easier for me to do that, I don't know why but it just is. Due to my meds I don't really remember how everything started but all I know at the end of the day I was depressed and really pissed off and all I wanted to do was go home and cry. Since we go to different schools and we have no form of communication and also I don't see this person until its Monday since we go to an event after school every Monday. And I don't think I want to go to the event next Monday, its something I don't think talking or trying to find a solution will fix things between us. My anxiety is surprising not that bad but maybe that's because of the overwhelming emotions hitting me like a train. I noticed recently I've been pushing everybody away again mainly my friend Caden and some others I rather not name since its a really long list of people. But Caden was the one who pointed it out, at first I was pissed off because he was the one who was avoiding me at first so I just thought maybe he needed space. And he looked hurt when he pointed it out to me and that image of him just standing there telling me this while his face looked like an abandoned puppy. Of course I didn't notice until I thought about it, I do this thing where I will argue with myself but I write it down and that's when I noticed I was pushing people away again. It hit me hard too. I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore, I'm more confused than ever. When i was talking to my childhood friend Damien He told me that I was oblivious to certain things. I usually notice when I start to avoid people but I didn't this time so i'm not sure what to do. Anyway if you read this the whole way through Thanks.

[Sash86]

I don’t know if this will help but Halloween I lost a friend. She said she didn’t want to be friends anymore and it hurt. First she said I made her feel uncomfortable and then that the friendship wouldn’t work out. Haven’t talked to her since.

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

How old are you? I am trying to understand which age group you fall in, cause some of this may just be pressures around that group.

How long have you been on your meds?

Are you using a journal? This will give you an outlet to vent and help distinguish feelings and identify underlying problems better.