I messed up?

[tomb_raider]

I’ve been sexually abused in the past and it’s caused me a lot of anxiety and depression. I recently went on a few dates with a really sweet guy and I asked him to sleep next to me because I have a lot of nightmares and I twitch in my sleep. The nightmares have become really debilitating and I wanted to wake up next to someone that would hold me if I got scared.

Anyway, we slept next to each other and I started having a vivid nightmare about my abuse. I woke up, terrified, and realized I felt my hand on his crotch and his hand over mine. I completely freaked out and kicked him out and cut him off.

But I’ve been thinking back to that night, with what happened. I twitch a LOT in my sleep. I move around a LOT. I realized that he was trying to move my hand /AWAY/ from his crotch because I’d twitched it there in my sleep.

This has been stressing me out a lot because I really liked him and felt we had a connection. Our first few dates were amazing and they finally made me happy. How do I fix what I’ve done? How do I try to explain this mistake to my parents? He’s a really sweet guy and I want to see him again, but now my parents think he attacked me. What do I do?

[Agora1]

tomb_raider, I'm sorry but understand how your past follows you into your new relationship. If there really is a connection between the two of you, reach out and explain that you reacted automatically to a traumatizing event that had happened to you. (not sure if he knew that night or not). Tell him you would like a fresh start with him. You realize you made a rash decision based on your previous experience. If this sweet guy really makes you happy then it's time to make that call or send that text.

See what his response is and than also have that talk with your parents. I wish you well. I wish you new found happiness, you so deserve it. xx

[tomb_raider in reply to Agora1]

I’ve been talking to him again and apologized for my actions. I told him before we went on our first date what’s happened to me and what I’ve been through and he understood and thought it was his fault for the way I reacted. Now I have to explain to my parents what happened and that I messed up. I’m not sure how to approach that conversation, however.

[Windy101 in reply to tomb_raider]

Why do you have to tell your parents? This sounds like such personal information to me. Is it necessary that they know?

[Agora1 in reply to tomb_raider]

Hi tomb_raider, I'm assuming you have to explain to your parents what happened that evening because you may have told them he was aggressive with you and need for them to know that it was you who jumped the gun especially if you want to be with him again.

Start out with "Mom/Dad I need to explain something about what happened that night with so and so. I think by clearing the air with them it will make you more relaxed and not fear taking another step forward with this amazing guy. xx

Good Luck!