I've been doing a lot of research lately into autism and really am starting to wonder if that's part of what's wrong with me. (as if I need anything else wrong with me)
The whole thing started because my wife is pointing out things that I do that are just crazy in her opinion. She's done this for two years now so I never thought much of it, after all everybody has their weird things they do. However we started watching "the good doctor" and immediately she started saying, "oh my God, you're just like him!" Scary thing is, she's more right than she knows. A lot of the things he does (classic signs such as difficulty looking someone in the eyes) I don't do only because I've trained myself not to. I still hate looking people in the eye, I feel like I'm going to fall into their eyes if I look for too long. I've always had other issues too, I didn't say my first word until I was 4.
Where I'm going with all this is what do i do? How does a 34 year old man go about finding out if he is autistic. I looked into doctors who deal with adult autism but can't find a single one in the state of Oregon, much less near the coast where I live. I think if I knew that was what was wrong it would help my wife and I understand how to deal with some things better, maybe I could finally get help and not be terrified if I have to meet someone new or make small talk. I've lost countless jobs because I don't understand body language or play the office politics game. Anybody have any advice?
Overwhelmed (**possible trigger warning**) 
Possibly losing my mind 
Is it possible to function in a dysfunctional family? 
I cant its not possible.
