new year, possible last year

[LivingOxymoron]

I feel like I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I've talked with family and counselors on how to achieve goals but none of there suggestions seem to help. I want to get a job in art and design field but not quite sure what to pursue which make creating portfolio challenging. Everytime I start acting towards goal I get extremely tired and feel like it's pointless. I have to get a job to pay bills but can't tolerate a job i don't enjoy. I live in area full of retail and warehouse jobs, I can't even muster enough energy to save money. I feel like people, family, past coworkers judging me at low income jobs, makes me feel worthless. I get this terrible sinking knot in my stomach, craving to end my existence a lot but don't know how. Do anyone know where I can get a good free mentor or counselor.

[kenster1]

hi keep talking with your therapist and family it really will help.dont set big goals that could set you up for failure.set realistic small goals and build on it.your not worthless at all but worth something to many people including family and friends.a job is a job a way of making ends meet and many people are desperate for any kind of work these days.i would bet more than 3/4 of folk probably don't like the job that they are in but they do it anyway.dont be to hard on yourself you can still chase your dream but just don't look at yourself as a loser for taking lesser jobs.

[LivingOxymoron in reply to kenster1]

Thanks for the reply, I'm very hard on myself because I try to be the best I can be. I also find it extremely challenging to get and maintain a job that I don't enjoy or low income. I have employment gaps on resume. I didn't give two week notice for two previous jobs so now i have no references, one of the jobs supervisor was extremely mad when i gave 4 day notice and told me I'll never get a job again. I'm finding those words to be true.

[hypercat54 in reply to LivingOxymoron]

Hi every job whether low paid or not is honourable and it is far better to be working than not. I know what you mean about doing a job you don't enjoy though. I have had to do this in the past to earn money or get solvent again and sometimes this is just life. I even had to do a job I hated to earn money. x

[LivingOxymoron in reply to hypercat54]

How do you spend 8 hrs a day doing something you hate. On previous jobs I try to hide that I dislike what I do but coworkers and supervisors can see it somehow and make things worst for me. I feel like I have control of emotions and can't focus. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but starting to think I have attention deficit disorder too.

[hypercat54 in reply to LivingOxymoron]

You just have to accept that you have no choice and try and make your mind as numb as possible. x

[LivingOxymoron in reply to hypercat54]

Thanks for reply, I found a wikihow article on "how to feel emotionally numb," thanks for the idea

[hypercat54 in reply to LivingOxymoron]

Be wary of doing that as it's not always healthy as I found out later. It can become too much of a habit and make any mental health issues worse. The jury is still out for me whether it was worth it or not. x

[LivingOxymoron in reply to hypercat54]

what do you mean by "jury still out for me whether it was worth it or not"

[hypercat54 in reply to LivingOxymoron]

I needed to be solvent even if the cost was high. I am still not sure whether it was worth it or not.

[Jeff1943]

Art and design sounds interesting, something you could enjoy. But you'd need a qualification, go to art school for a course. Maybe you could get a day job doing just anything to see you through an evening classes course in art/design. Then you could get a job in website design, or as an art director with an advertising agency. I'm retired now but I worked in the Creative Department of ad agencies for 40 years. Loved every minute of it. Couldn't wait to get into work on a Monday morning. In the words of the 1960s song: "Even the bad times were good, baby". Never made the mistake of allowing myself to be over promoted though.

What's this about possible last year though? Life is a gift, you cannot give it back. You're here for a purpose.

[LivingOxymoron in reply to Jeff1943]

thanks for your inspirational words, I have gone to art and design institute, have degree, plan on taking art course to freshen skills, if I ever obtain and maintain a job. What do you mean by "Never made the mistake of allowing myself to be over promoted though?"

[Jeff1943 in reply to LivingOxymoron]

I was an advertising copywriter and I worked with an art director on a team. I liked coming up with ideas and headlines, I was quire good at it. The next promotional step would have been managing a bunch of tempramental prima donnas like me and having to answer to the other directors for it. No thank you, I much preferred just doing the stuff I liked doing, making ads with my art director, not managing people. Of course it meant accepting less money but the pay was good anyway. So I avoided the poison chalice of over promotion and retained my sanity. Just my view, other people may see it differently.

[LivingOxymoron in reply to Jeff1943]

I agree with your view, I don't mind getting paid less as long as I can meet basic needs to survive. One of my previous jobs wanted to promote me to supervisor but declined because didn't want extra stress of managing others. My supervisor didn't agree with my decision so I was given extra responsibilities instead, supervisor left early every friday, leaving me to finish his work and harassed me, so I quit.

[Igor4253]

Please step back and understand you can only do soo much..i maybe out on in limb but I’ve been there before

[LivingOxymoron in reply to Igor4253]

Thanks for the reply, I really dislike feeling I can't control my life, but I'll try to go on.

[pink83737]

I know how you feel ending things doesn’t solve anything though

[LivingOxymoron in reply to pink83737]

Thanks for reply, It's hard to convince myself that when I don't see results, I know things will change in future, but I'm impatient and feel it is unbearable all the time.

[CTRPLR2BTRFY]

Hi LivingOxymoron,

I’ve been where you are before - until I realized that no one judges us like we do ourselves, and that the amount of money we make has nothing to do with your self-worth. Maybe you can find a creative part-time job doing something you enjoy to support you while you’re building your portfolio?

In terms of building your portfolio, maybe you’re getting bored because you haven’t found what you’re meant to be doing. Keep trying new things. You’ll find something that holds your interest eventually.

To get low cost or free counseling, call local counselors and ask if they offer a sliding scale. Most do but don’t advertise it.

Also try calling your local clinic or hospital and find out if they will work out a payment plan with you based on income. For instance, based on my income, my local clinic does not charge me a co-pay after my insurance pays their part, due to me making less than $35,000/year.

If you’re not working or working very part-time, you may qualify for Medicaid. Find out how to apply in your state and do so. If you qualify, your counseling should be completely covered.

Finally, seek out crisis centers or human service centers. They usually have counselors on staff and are completely free.

I hope this helps!

[LivingOxymoron in reply to CTRPLR2BTRFY]

Thank you so much for various solutions, I don't have income, will seek free counseling and Medicaid. I enjoy creating characters, story, and logos so I think concept art is best route, whenever I design business cards, graphs or brochures I lose interest. Still not sure if this is best route but will try. Hopefully I can find a creative part time job soon. I'm tired of worrying all the time.

[CTRPLR2BTRFY in reply to LivingOxymoron]

Hi LivingOxymoron,

I’m glad you may have found a solution to covering the cost of counseling! Usually once you’re qualified for Medicaid, they backdate it three months, as long as you were income eligible during that time. So if you have counseling or medical bills from that time, they should be covered too.

Definitely look for something creative part time. I bet there are a lot of employers who will hire you based on some work you could show them, and references won’t be as important.

Best wishes

[Mariposa82]

I don't know much about that industry but my daughter is interested in that field. May I suggest creating a YouTube channel since you like creating stories/characters and start that way. As far as logos, I'm not sure but you can try to create things and sell them on Etsy or similar sites. The internet is a huge world for you to be successful in. I know finding the energy is the hard part but hopefully if you're doing what you love it will just come naturally. Just suggestions to try if you like. Plus I'm not sure where you live, but if there are any major universities check with them because if they offer counseling as a major most of them offer free counseling at the school. Also some non-profits will too. Hope this helps.

[LivingOxymoron in reply to Mariposa82]

Thanks for the advice.

[momonthego2019]

Hi there, it can be overwhelming to feel as if you are stuck in a rut and you don't know how to get out of it or it just takes too long to reach certain career goals. If you love something, you should be able to pursue it as well as get a job on the side that can pay your bills too. If you continue to worry about what others think of you and your career choices, you may be setting yourself up for constant disappointments. Ask yourself why you allow yourself to be bothered with their judgements of you? Anything you really want you will have to work hard for but the rewards will be plenty. I recommend reading books about successful people. Not every successful person is born into wealth and prestige. Some start off in life with very little but with faith, hard work, and determination, they push through to succeed. Since you have trouble sticking with goals, I would recommend the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. This book may be located at your local libary but it is a good investment. If you have time, maybe try volunteering at an art museum, a children's museum, the library, etc. These places may give you an opportunity to display your work or you could at least sharpen your skills. Jessica Sweet is a career coach with a great blog. You can start by reading her blogs. In the past I have won a 1 hour free coaching session with her. Her website is wishingwellcoach.com/. For free counseling (one time free counseling session), you can call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) between the hours of 6:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. (Mountain time). Don't give up on your passion once you get things figured out, you will look back one day and see that all of this you are going through now was a part of the process to help you live out your dreams.

[LivingOxymoron in reply to momonthego2019]

Thanks so much for the resource

[momonthego2019 in reply to LivingOxymoron]

Can't wait to hear about your success!