Hey I'm new

[lilsaddude]

would be cool to have friends who are interested in the same shit I'm into. I'm always alone. ive stopped hanging out with people because I suspect that they are bored with me. I can't even hold a conversation on the phone without feeling like I'm boring the other person. women at my job flirt with me but I get so worried of altering their perception of me that I don't pursue any type of relationship. and thats really with most women. Ive even developed a speech impediment when I get nervous. (I'm always nervous). I'm thinking of joining a group where I can talk about my issues.

[Hidden]

I literally read your post twice. So many thoughts popped in my head.

For starters, true friends are accepting of their friends and take the good with the bad. If your “friends” are unable to do that, then I’m sorry but they aren’t your friends and you need to remove them from your circle. You can express your concerns if that’s more appropriate but if they can’t comprehend and understand your feelings then, yes!...remove them from your circle and replace them with positive and nurturing individuals who share the same interest as you. Any so called friend that makes you feel that way shouldn’t be blessed with your presence.

My next suggestion is spend more time with yourself to get comfortable in your skin. Learn what you like and dislike. Figure out what you want and don’t settle for less. Eventually you’ll climb the ladder towards being more confident in yourself. Once your confident you won’t second guess yourself, you will feel comfortable to say and do as you please. Once others see your confidence they will latch on. You can do or be anything you want.

Don’t ever forget that !

I still have days where my anxiety and depression over power me but the fact that I continue to fight for better days is the bigger picture. Don’t let your nervousness overpower you! ...instead let it fuel your drive to be better and stronger. I watched a video because of course I was the same way and it changed my perception on things overtime.

You came to the right place! You will find much support here. If you like, I can message you the link to the video. I hope I helped...after all that was my intention.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I don't even have to comment your answer was perfect

[Mazy817]

My story is almost the same, except the speech impediment. I would like to know what is, there are so many side effects with depression and social phobia. I have an obsession about doing research on symptoms, medications, and have yet to find anything about the side effects. I can deal with the migraines, the anxiety, the episodes of psychosis...all of them can be treated by medication. I have been so traumatized by tortuous and humiliating tests, procedures, every opening of my body has been violated. When my husband passed away in 2007, I took possession of my body for the first time in my life. From molestation starting at 5 years old, being a sexual slave, being raped for years by an alcoholic that never remembered the verbal, emotional, sexual abuse that I had to endure. I have not been to the doctor for ten years, and will never go. All my family are up in heaven, and I can’t wait to join them. I will suffer for the sake of God’s will, and trust him to lead me on the path He has chosen until this life on earth is done,

A couple of weeks ago, I told my doctor that I was losing my will to live and just wanted to be free from the despair and crying so hard for so long that I literally could no breathe because my throat and chest were so swollen. After I called her, she called the police to come and see if I had hurt myself. Knowing my fear of social interaction, she suggested finding a peer support group online. It took every fiber in my being to write my first post.

I discovered that sharing on this website would change my life. I have received comfort and given comfort freely and honestly. I finally found a way to cope, grow stronger, and find friends.

So I have made my motto, don’t complain, find a way. That sounds difficult, but with practice, I have become resourceful and more self reliant.

Now that all that is out, I’ll tell you a solution I just thought of when I read your post. I got a wig a few days ago. It’s a hairstyle that I have always wanted. So today is the first time in 4 weeks that I went to my doctors office instead of by phone. I wore my new wig and got flirted with by three different men, all before my appointment. She even told me that the man in the waiting room watched me until she closed the door. I have felt so alive today, all because I could genuinely smile and make eye contact for the first time in years.

Now that all that is out, I can reply to your post. After I read it, I was trying to come up with a solution to our fear of human interaction. I have to laugh because it is silly, but I am going to try it. The next time I feel inadequate or awkward or shy with someone, I’m going to (wait for it...) pretend they are farting. I am cracking up just imagining being able to smile at the thought. I am hoping that my smile or giggle can ease my fear, and I can actually talk to someone instead of looking at the floor and wishing I could run away.

I’ll let you know how it turned out, either good or bad. I hope you can get some comfort on this website. Just let it all out here, we all can share each other’s pain.

Have a good night (I’m still laughing about the farting). I forgot, I wanted you to know I’m 64.

[Hidden]

Hello Mazy. Welcome to the family. It’s always nice to welcome a new addition to the family. We gladly open our arms here to show warmth and support to everyone. I mean after all we are all in the same boat. I am very grateful that you decided to share some of your personal history with us. You definitely went thru a lot. I think it takes a lot of courage to share so much. But now...it’s seems that you’re on a brighter path towards hope, faith, laughter, etc. At this point there is no place to go but up. Strive to be positive as you said within your message as you seek and receive comfort from this site. Also, I’m glad you are able to find amusement out of your situation. Goodnight.