Thoughts?

Um...Hi so recently I’ve noticed that I’m not very good at keeping friends? I graduated from high school a few months ago and am now attending college but I 1) can’t seem to make any friends I tend to kind of shut down in public in general and I’m just not very good at having any sort of attention on me and 2) the friends I did have and go to the same college have drifted apart and idk I feel very lonely? Idk and sometimes I’ll just be sitting in my room and feel a very heavy weight on my chest and just start crying and have a difficult time breathing and idk I’m just not really sure what it is and I don’t reallt have anyone to talk to and I don’t want to self diagnose with anxiety or social anxiety or depression or anything because if I do I feel like people will think I’m just doing it for attention but I don’t like attention at all to begin with and idk im just not really sure what’s wrong with me and was thinking maybe someone here could help?

4 Replies

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  • Hi Hopingtogetbetter,

    Thank you for sharing on the forum.

    Transition from one school to another can be stressful. Your college usually has a student assistance program (SAP) to offer you some guidance and support and find solutions. It's totally confidential and free. No-one will be given any information about your visit without your permission. Services provided might include telephone consultation, in-person sessions and referrals to community resources, if needed.

    If you have any interests or hobbies maybe you can find some groups either on campus or outside to join in with likeminded people. This way you have a conversation starter, the interest in common. If you are nervous about going on your own for the first time, perhaps contact the organizer and arrange for someone to meet you there.

    My other thought is for you to arrange a catch up for a meal or a coffee meeting with your friends. If you do the arranging, you can pick a location where you feel comfortable.

    When the troubles seem to much to cope with, going for a walk, run or bike ride is a great idea. A small amount of exercise burns up the bad hormones.

    We are always here too :)

  • I’ll try that thank you

  • i know exactly how you feel. I feel the same way. I can't keep friends either and i panic in almost all social situations. I'm awkward and shy. I stutter a lot to. You aren't alone in feeling this way I promise. I understand how you feel and im here for you. You are lonely and scared because you feel you don't have anyone, but you do. You have me now and im not going anywhere as long as you tell me I'm allowed to stay.

  • You should try joining some clubs that way you'll find people who have the same interest and thats a great way to make friends

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