Gone

[Loki1018]

I learned at a very young age that no one stays around for good. My father passed away when I had turned 10 almost 2 weeks after my birthday it will be 20 years in a month and that fear has stuck with me since then but I've learned to distance my self, my heart grew a little colder since because the pain was unbearable and I've already told my mom when she goes when that day comes that I believe I will die with her. She is my heart and soul and world and I can't not imagine life without her and just to think that I may have to one day makes me die already.

[Vrt14]

I'm having a hard time understanding death, period. Recently I had to face the death of 4 different people, they all were a part of my life, more or less. I was reading Mark Manson and I remember what he said about death: what kind of a god will create such complex and fancy worm food?

[Hidden]

I have the same problem, my mom is everything I have. She's the only one who has been with me all the time. I didn't know I have depression and anxiety since I was 13, and this year my levels increased. I thought I was weak but my mom it's the only person that I have with my grandma. And I'm afraid to lose both.

[Loki1018 in reply to Hidden]

I definitely understand where your coming from all I have left is my mom and brother who I share a birthday with but we're exactly 2 years apart. I guess I can say that most likely all my issues with anxiety and depression may have started there. Had to grow up very fast and also had to be the rock for my mother. I mean that's what family is to be there for one another through the toughest times but at 10 I didn't realize how much I was going to be depended on both but in many ways it wasn't a good way but in others yes I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it wasn't for those trials and tribulations. I also had to then once again be the rock for them when I was diagnosed with stage 1 cervical cancer 3-4 years ago while they tried to keep it together as best as they could, my mom was freaking out I had to keep it cool, calm, and collected so that they saw that if I could keep it together then they must too while on the inside I was in shock still from the news it was surreal that feeling I had once experienced when we found out my dad had passed away, also I was scared and all other emotions going on I couldn't process.

[Susan512 in reply to Loki1018]

May GOD BLESS YOU 🙏

[Susan512]

May GOD Bless you 🙏

[Susan512]

May your friend rest in peace in the mercy of GOD 🙏