Anxiety: So I was in a bad marriage... - Anxiety and Depre...

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tiffany1979 profile image

So I was in a bad marriage where my ex cheated on me all the time and verbally abused me I am now engaged to an amazing guy but a lot of my anxiety issues affect our relationship. I know some of the things he does sometimes triggers my anxiety but I have a really hard time trusting and believing he's really doing what he says he doing or going where he says he's going. No matter what meds I'm on it's does not seem to help. I have been divorced 4 years now and the fear is still there that the same thing will happen. I just need someone to talk to.

5 Replies

I wish I had an answer for you. I have the same issues but your down the right path I'm realizing talking does help. Venting and getting it out.

This might seem naive but anxiety is like having a schemer inside your head always enforcing that the events that you fear the most are just up ahead.

This is what I do,

I do not entertain any negative thoughts of deception by my girlfriend unless I have first hand proof of it. And that means seeing it in action for myself! You cannot let anything else be proof! And that means anything you might have overheard or seen on their devices. and I do not allow myself to give in to the urge to snoop on her phone or anything else she might be using for communication.

If you can start to stop entertaining unsubstantiated accusations that go on in your head soon you will start to see that when you are lied to by them you can tell immediately that something is not right. Simply because you are paying attention to them instead of the schemer in you head and so you notice their change in body language and demeanor that would have gone unnoticed before. Remember that this is not proof! You still have to see to believe.


I'm sorry you feel that way but I'm glad that you really love this man and maybe you can try to discuss this with him and tell him how you feel,it may seem really uncomfortable and anxiety-provoking to think about, but if he really loves you he'll understand!.Hope everything goes well,if it's too much to talk to him,try leaving him a note and then go from there good luck:}

I try to talk to him about it but he tells me my anxiety from my past should not be put on him because he is not my ex and he shouldn't have to walk on egg shells to make me feel better because he's not gonna do to me what he did to me. And he feels that I'm to pushy because of my anxiety because I fear he's gonna do what my ex did to me and sometimes it causes us to argue

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