I wonder if the ones who don't suffer from any kind of mental illnesses know how PRICELESS it is to have a calm mind

Generalized anxiety disorder.... i get irritated, inside my head is like a war zone, i repeatedly go over every single thoughts my mind never rest even in my sleep, and sometimes i feel so overwhelmed with fear i go to this dark place in my head that make me think of ways to end my life. Most times I'm scared to enjoy my good days cause i know when the bad one comes i pray I'll survive it and not self destruct

[Hidden]

I remember the good old days when I used to be 'normal' completely took it for granted. Mental health never crossed my mind

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I envy them, how they go on with their day without worries

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Everyone has worries- they just might have a better support system.

[ocg80 in reply to Hidden]

Same here, I wish I can have those days back and have the peace that I used to have

[Hidden in reply to ocg80]

Trust me We al wish for the same thing

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh me too..I don’t think I will ever be ‘normal’ again. Those were the days..days that are unfortunately long gone. How sad.

[Loveydovey0519 Ambassador]

I agree with Candy, although I have always been a person to worry a lot. I don't thin I even knew what anxiety and panic was until I was diagnosed back in 08. "The good old days" will come back to us I'm sure one day.

[Hidden in reply to Loveydovey0519]

Im not sure about that anymore.

[Hidden in reply to Loveydovey0519]

Even during the good days im stressing waiting for the worst

[Loveydovey0519 Ambassador in reply to Hidden]

We just have to find a happy balance between good, and stress. It is still there in all of us! Might just be hard to find like myself.

[Hidden in reply to Loveydovey0519]

I guess its different for everyone. Im having a hard time finding it

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

The good old days will never be back.

[melbrown]

I know what you mean... even those who love & support us have no idea. It's hard to fake everything is normal, when you really really need it to be, but you rather run screaming to your safe place. I hope we all can get to point when we can enjoy life again.

[Hidden in reply to melbrown]

😢 my positivity is leaving. I feel like its so not fair why is it taking so long for us to get better

[melbrown in reply to Hidden]

We have to have faith it will happen. I know it's diffcult to understand it all & believe we are stronger than our demons, anxiety, whatever you want to call it. I've been struggling with the desire to be normal to have the type of life I see my friends have. Give my husband the wife he deserves & be ready for a little 1. .... I just don't know. Right now, we should be happy even with the small victories. You getting your candy recently. Me, going into work & doing my job, even though it was difficult with what was going on. All the beautiful people here who help each other. And try to put a smile on someone's face. Sending you a big hug 🌻💛

[Hidden in reply to melbrown]

You're right. Little victories always make way for the big ones. I guess i have to learn how to be patient and wait for results

[Hidden in reply to melbrown]

Sending you hugand kisses hun 🌻🌻🌻

[gogogirl in reply to melbrown]

At least you work regularly and have a calling. I am too spacey and disengaged like the former therapist and my brother have said.

[gogogirl in reply to melbrown]

I doubt we will fully enjoy life again. Lower your expectations.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

Well sheesh 😒 did u really have to say that

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

I am just being realistic. Besides sometimes lowering expectations can be helpful.

[20Voices]

!!!!!!!!WARNING THIS RESPONSE MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERS. !!!!!!!!!!

Hi Everyone,

As the saying goes "You are your own worst enemy" was never truer than when suffering from those days when everything has gone right and you've had a good day, but you still feel like your holding your breath waiting for the bubble to burst and everything to go black and bleak again.

What is normal anyway? I look around me these days and also from hearing what is going on in the world and it seems to me that these days normal looks like, marriages and families breaking up, kids carrying weapons to school and harming each other. Teachers all stressed out with larger class sizes and having to fill in so much paperwork they can't spend as much time on the kids as they would really like. Normal seems to be stalking and bullying via social media. Normal seems to be you need to have all the latest gadgets and fashion accessories even if it ends up with you being in so much debt you just don't know how to pay it off.

Normal seems to be I'll get married not really mean all those vows, oh and also I wasn't really honest with you about my personality or what I was looking for in partner before we married. (Yes, I truly believe in the marriage vows even although I don't go to church and it really bothers me about people to even attempting to work things out or just marrying for the money or because they wanted a skivvy)

Why be normal, if that is what normal is these days.

I'd rather not fit in with the crowd and be the person I want to be. I want to be a real person and that means a unique person not a cookie cutter person.

Next time your feeling uncomfortable because you have had a good day and your scared that it won't last, go somewhere with a mirror. Your bathroom or bedroom is usually a good place. Stand in front of that mirror say to yourself "That 20Voices is A LOT UNIQUE, but I am here anyway so I will give it a go." Put on your scary look, you know the one that tells people they had better not to mess with you, that you mean business. (Mines is hands on hips and just a little raise on an eyebrow, apparently.) Look at yourself in the mirror straight in the eye and shout (well say if you are really not up to shouting and attracting the attention of the whole neighbour) "Look brain, I am putting you in your place. I have had a good day and you are not getting to spoil it. Maybe tomorrow isn't going to be as good, maybe it is going to be even better, maybe it isn't. But right here, right now I am feeling good and I am going to feel good for as long as I can, so right here and right now I am putting you on the naughty chair go there and have a cup of tea and don't bother me until there is a reason to bother me." Or something to that affect.

I now have an image in my head of all these professionals round the world cringing as people go into their sessions and relay my method of getting over the "I have had a great day, but I can't enjoy it cause I am worried that tomorrow will be a bad day" and my version of normal is to be unique.

Oh well if anything else you are either stunned into silence/ killing yourself laughing/ wondering what medications I am really on/ or just thinking I have a screw loose now.

All I can say is I have found my "normal" again. Come join me, find out what your "normal" is. Don't worry remember my normal is UNIQUE and yours doesn't have to be as way out with the ideas as mine is, you set your normal.

If I have scared anyone I do apologize, that was not my intention, please be yourselves and keep going to get your life to what you want it to be.

Take care.

[Hidden in reply to 20Voices]

Your answer was SO ON POINT

[Hidden in reply to 20Voices]

Being normal is kind of messed up especially nowadays with everything that's been going on

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

What is normal? I have always been an oddball.

[Kainan in reply to gogogirl]

Yeah that "normal" we always associate with other people is really quite boring. We are so much stronger and better off as people for having gone through our illnesses. Rather than going back to the way it once was, we can create a new normal, and it will be distinctly our own.

[Hidden in reply to Kainan]

I absolutely love your reply. You're right

[20Voices in reply to gogogirl]

You are not an oddball just unique and recognising your uniqueness and that of others is great. I mean who wants to be "normal" that is like being a standard straight carrot of specific length that all the supermarkets seem to sell these days. I'd love the wonky carrots you get at farmers markets, I mean they are unique and still great to eat.

I say celebrate your unqiueness and ignore those who don't like it. After all they have their own problems to deal with cause they want to be "normal".

[Hidden in reply to 20Voices]

My scary look is crossing my hands n raise my eyebrows 😠

[Lostjoy in reply to Hidden]

Your post really makes a person think. I used to be one of those people who didn't know what it was like to have mental illness. All good replies here also. This world makes no sense to me anymore.

[Hidden in reply to Lostjoy]

Nothing make sense.... most times i can't enjoy the good days cause I'm anxious about the bad ones

[gogogirl]

I know what you mean. I am in my sixties, and have never found a place in this world career wise. A friend told me that I was immature. Sometimes I envy people who have found a place in this world. I have not. So, I have my husband and dog, but I withdraw or pretend with everyone else, and I am cracking. I fired a therapist two weeks ago who called me an "immature little girl" - yup in my sixties. She also had a temper tantrum in the last session. Glad that insurance paid her to act abusively .

[20Voices in reply to gogogirl]

Mmmm So what parents are 70 and both act like big kids at times, but you know what they enjoy life and there is very few times that I spend with them when were are not all having a laugh and joke about something. Even stressful issues seemed to be less of a problem when they are around.

If what you do doesn't harm anyone or yourself then go be immature. Jump in that puddle the next time your put for a walk with the dog. You know you want too.

Maybe the next time someone calls you immature you should ask them what immature means to them. I bet it is something different from what it means to you.

20Voices. Xx

[Hidden in reply to 20Voices]

Well said!

[Hidden]

No they don’t. They think people with disorders, no matter how mild, is like a total paranoid szchophrenic , seeing things that aren’t there and thinking the devil is telling them to kill everyone

[suzzze]

This comforts me. I’m not alone.

[Hidden in reply to suzzze]

Definitely not 🌻

[bluestars725]

I know this post is over a year old, but it popped up in my feed this morning. I feel the same way about my struggle with generalized anxiety disorder and depression. These mental illnesses are a battle every day for me. It's so hard to be around people and pretend I'm fine. My mind feels like a war zone too. It's difficult for me to enjoy the good days also, though those have gotten fewer as time goes on. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

[Hidden in reply to bluestars725]

You're not alone,It becomes more bearable trust me, i still overthink and overanalyze i don't think I'll ever truly stop im not sure it's possible to do so but it gets better. Oh i know all about pretending and putting on another face while the inside is a mess

[bluestars725 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for the kind words. I hope it does get better for me. I was diagnosed with GAD and depression about a decade ago, but it's definitely gotten worse over the last few years. I've really been struggling over the last couple of weeks. I guess I'm scared that generalized anxiety disorder and depression are going to prevent me from ever really feeling happy again. I really do feel like a mess.

[Hidden in reply to bluestars725]

Have you ever seen a therapist, how's your support system do you have anyone close that you can talk to

[bluestars725 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, I see a therapist regularly, and I'm working with her to start an antidepressant for the first time later this month, so I guess I'm taking positive steps, but I've been battling a depressive episode for the last couple weeks and my GAD is always a battle. Everything just feels a million times more difficult and overwhelming.

[Hidden in reply to bluestars725]

Im glad you're seeing one they really do help,the depressive episodes are an on and off thing you should ask your therapist for some coping mechanism or how to help yourself get out of them

[bluestars725 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I'm working on my coping skills, but it's so hard when I'm so mentally exhausted. The depressive episodes have been happening more lately, and when I'm not in the middle of a really bad one like right now, I still have depression symptoms that I know are impacting my ability to just get through the day, along with anxiety.

[Starrlight]

I can soooo relate. I was just thinking that I can’t wait until my mind becomes quiet which is rare and still not as quiet as I’d like. It’s hard not to make mistakes with this unquiet mind and it’s hard to believe I deserve to feel well. I find that on my new med Paxil makes me feel somewhat better. My children are the reason for beautiful experiences, they are my earth angels, they make me stronger.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Hold on to your babies, they are a huge motivation, a quiet mind is a rare thing for people like us, only a handful of times that i felt it

[Ezrah]

this morning after some bad days, I decided to open the page to write or just see that I am the only one with this, and I found that they had posted this, since I remember I never had a normal day, never ... on the contrary, always They told me why was not it normal?

from my family I am the only one who wonderfully has this type of disorders.