I guess im looking for answers to a long term problem of mine. Im gay and im k with it on the surface but deep down im not .. ive been depressed about it for some years and i want to take control of it as im scared next time i feel low i will do something stupid. So i guess u can call this my cry for help . I know who i am and im happy but i tell people or when people find out i hurts me and puts me into the worst. Why it hurts me i dont know.. i had a bad childhood and i guess i just dont want to have a crap adult hood and lets me real being gay is not the easiest thing and im from my ethic background makes it even 80%more worse.. I just want to be ok ..
I have a close relative going through a similar situation. He is very private about it, it is really sad that he seems ashamed of it. Ethnic background has 100% to do with it. Catholic upbringing mixed with it too.
I wish I could offer advice... There is nothing wrong with you
I come from a latino background where homosexuality was never discussed (due to our religion and cultural stereotypes), it was never brought up, even though alot of my family members (men and women) were gay. The older generation of gays in my family were not out and some of them died never had come out. I noticed that the younger gays in my family now are living out of the closet (some a little more freely and others a little more conservative), but I will say that the relatives that are living in their truth (whether accepted by the family or not) never have regretted their decision to speak their truth. The ones that had to hide their truths lived in turmoil, fear, depression and sadness for not being able to live freely. It takes alot of courage and bravery to live in your truth. Please hold your head up high and continue to learn to love yourself for who you are.
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