Can't go on, but don't know how to end it.

Life sucks and I wish there were an easy end, can't bear the mental pain any more.

50 paracetamol may dull the constant ache, but perhaps not forever.

Suggestions ??

49 Replies

  • They're beside me, took 10 in one hit the other day :-/

  • I'm on that path, can't seem to break out of this brain fog despite antidepressants.

    Feeling so lonely and alone, worthless, hopeless, and helpless, made a complete hash of recent years and only realised recently, now just want the pain to end.

    Trying to stay positive and move forward, one step forward two steps back :-(

  • Third change since april, Mertazipine for a few weeks, then sertraline, now ascitalpram from about 10 days ago.

    Every day is a constant battle with motivation, sorting chores, life and death.

  • Yes, and mental health team, have an assessment next week, but feels a long way off.

    GP put me on mertzipine, local MHT visted and changed to sertraline, Hospital psych put me on the ascitalipram, maybe just the change over, she said I may feel rough, but this is almost unbearable.

  • I'm safe, for now, thanks. Took two last night and two this morning, seem to have constant headaches.

    Takes me until mid morning / lunch time to get myself going, MUST try and get out for food :-/

  • No, been 'retired' for a few years, long story, one of many, which are contributing to my worries.

    Bad decisions, limited finances forcing major life changes that are tough to cope with hence wanting 'an easy end'

  • Not recently, had counselling over number over the years that seemed to help, but perhaps didn't bring out my main issues, never had counselling.

    Waiting to be seen by MHT again, also to hear from local MIND.

    Waiting is so HARD

  • I WILL, thank you and good luck. Think I need to get out for a while, if I can brave the front door :-/

  • Faith and trust in myself is hard given past mistakes, which I KNOW we can't change.

    Hopefully my mind will settle soon so I can ride triggers more easily.

  • I know what you mean by having trust again. Besides my husband and dog, I have no one who cares about me nearby. I deserve what I got. Also, I know about not being able to fix mistakes or character flaws.

  • Hey, I am not ending, but I am also old, have made some not so great decisions in life, and then again have some niceness also. Limited finances- hey I can relate. When I shared with the counselor she said tough, you deserved that if you made certain decisions years ago- can't help you. Then she said that I was annoying, and there were people who did everything right who had a tough time. When I apologized for being annoying, she just rolled her eyes.

  • Mmm, sounds like you need to find another one.

    For me it matters not how we got where we are but that we need help to cope with crawling back out again.

    There are many triggers to mental health.

    Fingers crossed for you.

  • The same to you! I did understand that I can't fix things , but yes we need help. Yes, I do deserve consequences for some poor decisions .

  • Perhaps not a case of fixing things, but help in making ther best of a bad job. Thaat's what I'm struggling with, and getting my brain to a point where I have at least some self trust to ask the right questions of the right people,then heeding their advice.

  • Are you talking about your job or life? Sorry- eyes over a certain age. Counselor scolded me like a child today and I am 66! Maybe I act like a child. At any rate, I called, and said that we would not be seeing each other anymore.

  • Not worked for a while, had a dodgy back and thought I'd cope on medical retirement pension. I'm 59, so with you on the age thing.

  • Sorry about that. My story is different. Some years back, my husband and I moved to a warmer climate. I felt very selfish, so I made us move back to where we are. Long story. I feel sick inside.

  • If you think I am too stupid and selfish, I understand why you would not write back.

  • I feel that also- and today I left my counselor after she said that she was sick of me, and if I continued to talk she would walk out! And my MIL is dying-I have known this counselor for over two years. She has done some good- but has her priorities. No clue about depression and said that people have real problems in the world!

  • Did you take 50 yesterday? Please go to hospital. Your liver is in danger, please listen. I took only 30 went into liver failure, my whole life is screwed up. I can't eat as much, I'm in pain constantly. Paracetamol overdoes is horrible way to die! I tried it and I'm living in miserey I damaged my liver so much I could be gotten a liver transplant or death. I assume it's 500 mg? Please go to hospital It only takes a week or so for an agonizing death. Plus, once it's in your blood stream there's nothing you can do to stop it. I got treated on the 4th day I was only a few days away from death. I have so many symptoms that no one believes me about.

  • Thank you for being so honest and sharing.

    I went last time and they checked my blood, waited a few hours and was discharged after seeing psych people, now waiting for assessment, but WISH there was a quick and easy way to die :-/

  • Last time? Does that mean youve overdosed before? If you have no symptoms you are lucky.

  • Seems one packet we can tolerate, bloods were fine, apparently, unless it was what they injected me with, they didn't say what it was.

  • Probably NAC - the antidote for the overdose.

  • Would you like to privately message?

  • sent

  • Time to test the traffic !!

  • Damn, no big trucks or vehicles going fast enough :-(

  • Options !! Things are REALLY bad !

  • Yes. I talk a lot, does help :-)

  • They help me cope but can't resolve my problems :-/

  • Willing to give it a go, thanks :-)

  • Just found the pm button, thanks :-)

  • Dodgyd, ending things is not the answer. Even though you might be in pain now it doesnt have to always be this way. There is help out there. Trust me I've been where you are and I've struggled with suicide for years and have tried twice. It will only leave a wake of devastation for family and friends and it doesn't have to be like this. Your life is precious and can get so much better I promise you! Get help, get to the root of your issues and be compassionate with yourself. Don't hold anything back in therapy. Therapy, medication and talking to people as well as reading about other people's struggles and support groups like this have saved my life. Life is so worth living and you matter, you are loved and thing's can and will get better but you have to get help. I'm here if you need to talk.

  • Thanks TGG.

    I keep going through my finances and things look tough to bleak, every tool or spreadsheet suggests a tight budget with savings needed, or income increased, neither seem a reality, hey ho.

    No matter how I cut it I'm in trouble, so some VERY hard decisions to make.

  • I understand what your going through. I've really been at very low and desperate places. I've struggled financially and at one point lost everything, wife, kids, house, two cars, but like I said things can and will get better. The saying suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem is true. I've been through bankruptcy also but you can get through anything in life if you don't give up. If your feeling suicidal you need to go to emergency immediately!

  • Any tips to cope with the risk of loosing a home would be welcomed, seems I'm heading that way as I think it's the only way to settle my mortgage and release some cash.

    Glad you're still here and are helping others.

    Divorced years ago, seems I'd pretty much gone off the rails then only to realise recently.

    Thanks Bud

  • Hi. Sorta new here, but read your message and thought I'd chime in. I'm not sure where you are located, but here in the US, there are protections for people with disabilities, including in the event a bank tries to take away your home for not being able to pay your mortgage, for example. Even if you're elsewhere, there may be a law that is comparable. Depression and anxiety can be considered a disability in specific circumstances, and that status may help in protecting you from losing your home. Good luck, and remember that things can turn around just as easily as when they go downhill. I really hope things start to look up for you soon 🙏

  • Thanks HJ77, self induced financial worries so little protection I'm afraid, years of mismanagement and only realised recently :-( Hey ho

    I'm just hanging in here and hope someone can go through my finances with me to help decide on the difficult next steps.

    Maybe I'll win the UK part of Euromillions Lottery tonight, YEAH RIGHT :-/ LOL

  • There are far worse things you could have done than anything to do with money. That is a problem you can solve and grow from, even if if means losing a house and scaling back to a much more simple life. This doesn't make you a bad person. Some of the wealthiest people out there are some of the worst.

    Try to let yourself feel the warmth and comfort people here are sending you. They care and want you to keep breathing and to say alive! You can have a purpose for your life, and that purpose can be good.

  • Thanks Windy, your comment about 'some of the wealthiest people' made me smile and I DO agree.

    Money is just one aspect but hey ho, everything is linked.

    I guess I MUST have come through a health crisis for a reason, perhaps needed to learn a hard lesson to move forward from and to build a new life with more purpose, though it WILL be drastically different to what I've been used to, finding the change tough now.

    I'm still here and clinging on with my fingernails that are all bar destroyed, they were beautiful a year ago :-/

  • Praying for you, DodgeyD. I was in the hospital last year with suicidal thoughts. They truly helped me. It was the best place for me. All these financial things can change, please get a therapist.


  • Hoping it will come from a meeting next week, fingers.

  • Crossed

  • Do you have a support group? Hey, I not only have the financials but also HUGE guilt.

  • No support group, going through it alone. You ?

    Mt brother is doing what he can.

    The guilt and shame are the worst.

  • Sounds like you have a nice brother. Mine is a couple of hundred miles away. We have a "surface " relationship. I only have my husband and dog, and guilt and shame.

  • Took me ages to confide in him, needed a sounding box if nothing else.

    My family relationships are fairly surface too, always felt different, again, issue with me I guess. Hey ho.

    I'm sure there's ways forward, just a case of working things through.

  • I can only confide in my husband. I confided fully to one therapist years back, and she slammed my arm in her door.

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