Back to work Tuesday

[Britti]

I have been off of work for about 3 weeks and am currently supposed to go back Tuesday. I see my psychiatrist at 10:45 am Tuesday and just don't know what to do. I obviously need the money to keep my home, but I am so terrified of going back I feel I would rather die than leave my home. I am extremely terrified and don't know what to do. I was in impatient at the end of June to early July for 9 days.. I don't know if I should go back in or what... I am so scared and confused and feeling so lost. Does anyone have advice? Or ideas to get through this and to feel better? I am currently on Prozac and Buspar and it does not seem to be doing a single thing .. especially not for my anxiety. Psychiatrist talked about trying abilify if this upped dosage of Prozac didn't help. I am also extremely worried about that as I have never been on a medication like abilify. I have been diagnosed with major depression and general anxiety disorders. I have tried tons of different medication combinations and therapy and nothing seems to help. I felt in control for about a month after getting out of the hospital then it just fell apart all over again. I feel so helpless and like there is no hope or point in going on, let alone going back to work.. I don't think I can do it.

[Hidden]

If you don't mind me asking, do you have a faith that you believe in? I'm a Christian and the power of prayer is strong. It is what is keeping me going. I got out of bed today and that was a huge improvement for me. It will get better. Is there some type of trauma that you have experienced that makes you not want to leave your house?

[Britti in reply to Hidden]

I have had past traumas but it has been years since. I am a Christian also. I've felt far from God lately, as depression can make it seem at times. I am hoping and trying to pray. I have been reaching out and asking to be added to prayer chains.

[Hidden in reply to Britti]

Personally I felt far from Him as well. I know it is hard to do, but you have to fully give your problems to Him. Rest in His arms and let Him continue this fight. This time in your life will end, but it will be on God's time. Just know that there is a time already for this to pass. I had traumatic events happen as well. Sometimes stress or anxiety can retrigger those feelings especially if you didn't get the proper help for them. I hope this helps. Just know that you are not alone!

[Britti in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much! It does help to know I am not alone, and not the only one who has felt far from Him. I hope he can carry us out of this asap

[Justswimming]

Sorry you feel so anxious...you don't say what your job is and whether you are happy with that job..maybe that's contributing ....hope you feel better soon try music and exercise that will.help with anxiety

[Britti in reply to Justswimming]

I do accounting.. I enjoy it but it can be very stressful. I have thought about doing something else but all of my experience is in accounting. It is hard to get out of bed.. but I know exercise would help in many ways. I just need to get the strength to start.

[Justswimming]

Well there are a lot of places to do accounting and I know some are more stressful than others ...so maybe you could switch companies. I know someone in my family whose normally calm cool and confident was incredibly stressed working at big firm and switched to smaller company so now he is less stressed...also you've learned skills in accounting that can be used in other areas...as for the gym just put the fitness clothes on an go just start out slow say 20 min on an elliptical even if you only do 10 you'll still get the feel good endorphins and will totally dial down the anxiety.... Have a grrat day!

[ckw1]

I can relate to your feelings of anxiety about going back to work. I struggle every morning with having to leave and go to work. My job never used to be this way and I used to enjoy coming to work, but after several changes in ownership and changes in management things have gotten bad. I feel intimidated when I come to work because I'm worried about being fired or disciplined for minor issues. I would change jobs if I could afford it but it's not always easy to find a new job.