My husband

I'm in a marriage that I no longer want to be in. I love my husband, but I'm not in love with him... He bothers the hell out of me. I've been married for 5 years now. I wish I could leave him and start a different life for myself, but I can't. My anxiety and depression make it impossible for me to do anything! Not being able to work, drive or do anything, is Really starting to take a toll on me. I don't know what to do. What can I do? I'm a disaster.

[20Voices]

Hi,

I am sorry you are feeling this way.

The anxiety and depression can take it's toll on you and your marriage.

I would suggest that you talk to the medical people who are helping you with your illness about how you feel about your marriage.

My experience is from the other side of this. All I wanted was a little bit of support from my husband who I was still madly in love with , but who just brushed me aside when I had my breakdown. I thought it was me and my illness, but I know think he was having an affair long before I illness got to it's worst and I finally had my breakdown.

I found that I got more frustrated with myself than my husband because I couldn't make him understand how I was feeling. We grew apart and because of how I felt about myself I found it hard to deal with him at times.

I don't know how helpful and supportive your husband is, but is there the possibility your feeling for him are this way because of your illness and frustration over what is happening with yourself. Could you be trying to hurt yourself by turning against him? Maybe you should speak to your doctor/therapist about how you are feeling about your marriage.

I eventually asked my husband if he'd go to counselling with me to sort out marriage, but unfortunately he refused. Then again he was not very supportive with my illness, so now we are getting divorced. I think my illness has been a way for him to get rid of me because I was not the happy dutiful wife after I became ill.

I truly hope you can resolve how you are feeling and that things work out for you.

I would be happy to talk to you if you want to PM me.

Take care.

[n1cole]

It is your anxiety that is stopping you from working and driving? If so, I would suggest seeing a doctor.

But I do know what it feels like to be trapped. I was in that position a few years ago. But once I finally left it was the most relieving feeling. I felt like a brand new person.

I wish you the best in this very hard journey. One foot in front of the other.

[August1]

I know the feeling of loving someone but not being in love with them. I'm dealing with that now, but at the same time, I've never been married. Start bringing up how he bugs the hell out of you. Speak up about your needs but also acknowledge his side of things regarding your depression. In time, I'm sure you'll find peace. Best of luck

[Justswimming]

Take it one day at a time