New here, clueless

[karnjadon]

Hi, I've never been part of a group like this before, I saw someone a while ago for the first time to talk about my mental health and they suggested I try to open up a bit more. To be honest I don't know where to start.

I suppose i feel a bit isolated, but I've lost the confidence to speak with people, can't sleep well, i sweat all night even when it's 3 degrees out, or wake up in the middle of the night with no idea why i feel scared or troubled(i don't know how to label the feeling). A couple times i felt so suffocated it felt like i was being choked, which really scared my girlfriend, who was with me at the time.

Been trying to seem less grumpy around people, but can't seem to get rid of my perpetual "half asleep" expression or show enthusiasm for anything which I think makes people feel like i'm just not interested even though I am.

Scared about getting into things further or how this is going to turn out, so I'm gonna stop here and go for the post.

[Lantis88]

Sounds like possible anxiety (panic) attack. Have you mentioned anything to your doctor. Sleep is important it helps your body recover. I can tell you from experience sometimes just getting it out of your head and out there, helps. Gives you just a little clarity and relief even if its just for a little bit.

[karnjadon in reply to Lantis88]

I know that I should, but whenever i start thinking about things that I need to get out there I feel overwhelmed by everything that I feel weird about so i end up not saying anything and the few times I tried speaking to someone they ended up giving me advice on how i "simply need to move on and look forward, keep myself busy and work out" or something along the lines of that. I tried speaking to the doctor, but a little bit into the conversation they said a few things which hit home, but that made me choke up and i felt like I couldn't talk anymore, i left soon after that, this was back when I was visiting my parents, I haven't really seen anyone since i got back to florence, where I live.

[Lantis88 in reply to karnjadon]

Sometimes strangers are the best way to go. Better help.com its a good counseling site. Its easier sometimes to talk when you can't see the person. Just typing it all out. Its easy for people to tell you to move on, but its a lot harder to actually do it, and honestly I don't think anyone really ever does. It always comes back in your head. The key is to make it lose some of its power. Coming from experience, and believe me I have more rolling around this brain of mine then I care for, when I write it out and push post or send it feels just a little better. No one here knows my name or really anything about me, but there are some people here that can relate to the feeling. The other good thing is, when its getting hard and Im getting choked up. I can just stop and no one knows the difference. There are no expectations.

[karnjadon in reply to Lantis88]

Thank you for that, I agree, it seems easier to just type it out. It's a little confusing in the sense that I know I do have a problem that I need help with, but saying it out loud feels too real, almost pitiful, like I'm crying for attention. Think i'll check out the website now as well.