HELP

[Pjmmtr01]

How do I just grow up emotionally. I have bad anger issues and attitude problems. How do I fix it what can I do?

[HearYou]

Hello, noticed you have a few posts this week on three venues since you joined HU.

And you used all caps in your "help" post...which made me think you had an emergency. So I didn't shut down my computer. Was on my way to bed. Glad that was not the case. As far as help in acting like a responsible adult, think it's a good idea perhaps if you just read a number of the posts and replies on this venue for awhile.

If you believe you have anger and attitude issues, you will also recognise how people in this venue are dealing with their lives without anger management problems or copping an attitude. Some do, some do not. Sometimes depends on how badly they are feeling...no one's perfect.

Think the life lessons you believe you have missed, you can learn by reading and learning how others are living responsibly while dealing with other life issues at the same time.

Wish you the best in the reading and learning and wanting to "grow up".

[blackcat64013]

Hi Pjmmtr01,

Humans experience a lot of different emotions, some of them pleasant and some of them unpleasant. We are designed that way. The emotions actually serve a useful purpose e.g. when we are angry we focus on being wronged or when we are scared, we are being warned of possible danger.

A healthy way of dealing with the emotion is to practice acceptance - to accept that they are there, without judgement and without trying to change them, making space for them and letting them run their course naturally.

Acceptance doesn't mean giving in or giving up or putting up with psychological suffering. It means taking a positive step to understand where the anger/attitude comes from. It's really hard to do on your own so recommend you see a clinical psychologist who can guide you through the steps necessary to become a more reasonable human being. You really have to want to do this to get the benefit of the talking therapy sessions and the homework. The number of sessions involved is usually 6 - 10 depending on your circumstances.

Go for therapy and you won't regret it.

[clare222]

Hi pet. I can empathise greatly with what your saying but maybe its not the same, you decide though. Iv had awful things happen to me all through my life and im only 38. My mind bounces off the walls and when it races i can have hundreds of thoughts and people in there some i know some i dont some positive 99% negative. Its almost impossible not to listen to the negative whether it be in relation to something thats happened or feelings of anger , this leds to me feeling down and getting more angry as the thoughts turn to being suicidal and you get angry for feeling like that but you cant help it. Anger can be positive but the mental health sufferer usually has negative anger which can affect you relating to others as you get paranoid and can come off as being rash and agressive but all the while feeling scared and alone but it comes across to others as angry. And if something has happened to you angers often v high in thoughts and feelings but the worry is how to use the feeling of anger without hurting yourself or others. I dnt know but maybe in something like boxercise or if afraid of going out indoor exercise dvds. Running, music can be a good way of calming down. Drawing or writing. If concentration lacks then dark room with silence lying on a bed til the knot relieves inside. Its an emotion that has no quick fix just trial and error to see what works for you. Personally my mental age stopped and im a 38yr old trapped in the head of a kid. I get socially terribly confused and awkward. I dnt know what things are like for you but emotionally growing up can be seriously affected if youv had trauma younger. Sometimes the mind shuts off to this and protects the individual buthow can you grow up emotionally if there have been events limiting the ability for this to happen. Look for triggers. Things that when you encounter them boom you become emotionally affected. This can prevent any chance of emotional growth. And the triggers are different for everyone. Perhaps in this intance you need professional guidance as to how to develop your emotions. They will be directly linked probably to your anger and knock on to your overall attitude. If you arent ready for professional help then seek advice as you have and observe how others deal with these emotions

But be careful as how you feel is individual and every individual should be treated holistically and have their own plan of care. Basically your special and should be treated based on how your life has moulded your characteristics. Everyone requires being treated or cared for on a new basis. Sorry im rambling. I dnt know if iv even made sense there. But good luck. Dont let your feelings consume you as mine do. Thats ruined me. Take care.x