I don't know what's happening

My husband left no explanation, didn't take his belongings, changed his address, and blocked my number. My son had moved out prior. Recently I had to rehome my husband's dogs. Since they have been gone, I feel empty. Like I don't clean, or do laundry, or anything. Instead I worry about doing it so much that I'm frozen. Instead of just doing what I need to do. What I was wondering is if anyone else has been so depressed that this has happened to them too? I feel like I'm lazy. But it's more than that. I just want to know if anyone else has felt this way and if they made it through the other side. I guess not if you're on here. I just feel lost.

7 Replies

  • Hi,

    I am writing to you to let you know that while things may feel like it has gotten worse truly when one door closes another one opens. Think for a minute and try and analyze your past when your husband was there. Were you truly happy? Did he make you really happy? If not then this door closing may have been the best thing for you. Your son may have moved out but your son will always be your son so why don't you give him a call and plan a lunch or dinner with him? Try and stay close to your friends and loved ones especially at this time where it feels like you're alone. You're not alone at all, try taking some vitamins for energy b-12 or drink some green tea and give yourself one task that makes you happy a day! Don't look at the bad part of everything try and look at the good that will come out of this! Don't try and do things that will regularly bring you down like laundry. I hate laundry so if I was in a bad mood I won't do laundry instead I'll take a hot bath and do a face mask and hair mask. Take care of yourself I hope this helps a little bit! Stay positive you are not alone!!

  • I'm on here and on the other side. (Happy) Anxiety and depression will come in & out of my life probably till I die, but that doesn't mean I don't lead a productive life filled with many joys! My 2nd husband moved out while I was at work... We had only been married 2 weeks! O_O He had gotten a woman pregnant and didn't want me to hurt him out of anger, so he left. It was hard to get over the shock so, I understand you are having trouble. Maybe it's time to deal with whatever you did or didn't do to contribute to your current circumstances. It's not about blame, it's about fixing your own issues so that you won't have to feel such difficult feelings. I wish you Strength & Self Awareness ❤

  • My husband and I were together 20 years. He had heart surgery a few years ago. He got a job with travel and decided he didn't want responsibility any longer. He left me with a huge mess. It's just been a lot. At first I was doing ok, but everything has caught up to me now and I feel like I've shut down. I just wondered if anyone else has ever had this happen. It's come to the point where I'm not doing anything but I'll worry about it instead of just doing it. I just don't know how to get back to myself. I appreciate your responses. I don't normally post because it scares me but it's come to the point where I don't know what to do. But thank you.

  • Hi this has obviously come as a huge shock to you and I am not surprised. I think your husband is very selfish to just leave you like that without a word of explanation. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all walk away from our responsibilities like that? I hope you are angry at him?

    At first you carry on but if you ignore how you feel as you have found it does catch up with your after a while. Now what I would do is not expect too much of yourself until the worst of the shock has passed. You have been through a very traumatic time and you need space and time to lick your wounds. In other words stop putting so much pressure on yourself and ease up a little. Do nice little things for yourself like pampering yourself as much as you can.

    Now the best thing to do is keep on pushing yourself to do a few of the things you used to even if you don't enjoy them or find them difficult. Only a few mind you and only the essentials. Make sure you keep in touch with friends/family and get out as much as you can. Don't lock your feelings inside you and talk to family and friends if you can, you can also talk to us on here anytime. If you still feel bad after doing all this then maybe you should see your doctor and ask for some help.

    I hope this has helped a bit. Take care. xx

  • I have felt exactly the same way. Yes, you can feel better. The feeling is a symptom of depression and not your fault! I've found that I do need to seek treatlment that includes therapy and medication, and it makes a huge difference. My suggestion would be to make a phone call today for some kind of help. That one step could help you feel so much better. Also, when I feel that sense of not being able to get anything done, I tell myself I'll just do two small things. Sometimes that gets me motivated to do more, but if not, at least I've done two instead of none!

  • i too have felt the same way. 3 weeks ago to be exact. i was so depressed i didnt want to get out of bed. not even to go to the bathroom. but i did do that. i didn't shower, do laundry, i stopped going outside. then it hit me i was depressed again ive been in the same place 8yrs ago. so i called my therapist she said i had to force my self to do my usual stuff, house work, bathing, going outside. that day my daughter whose 10 got me to walk out to the driveway. then down the street a little bit and back home. i thought this does feel good. that night i actually ate dinner with my kids, watched tv, and did some of my needle point crafts. everyday i did a little more even though it wasnt easy but i thought i have to get better not just for me but i have kids, alot of pets, and i also my self. i couldnt stand feeling that way. Just like you said i felt lazy but didnt care. its a horrible feeling. but everyday it gets better im not 100% out of my rut but getting closer everyday. i have to say i am very happy today compared to 3 weeks ago. i now look forward to each new day before i just wanted to roll over in bed and go back to sleep. its a great feeling. im sure you will find a way to feel better too.

  • So sorry for this especially as it must be so hard to get closure. For your husband to just walk out on responsibilities like that is frightening. You sound like a strong person. I am here if you want to just vent. No preasure.

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