At a total loss....

[Cassidythomp94]

So 6 years ago I lost my mom to a battle of pancreatic cancer.. it was rough having to watch her go through that much worse it was when I was 16 and my sister was 14. Having to take care of my sister I had to grow up insanely fast! Anyways, I've just been hit lately with this sense of being lost without her worse more then anything and around that time a month before she died I got raped.... so many flashbacks late nights not being able to sleep I'm just clueless and at a loss of what I should do

[DianeA]

Tuff situation. I'm very bonded to my mother also. It's a good time to have a lot of friends.

[menagerie11]

I am so sorry for what you have gone through. Losing a mother at any age is one of life's hardest experiences, but even more so at such a young age. Then, to have been raped soon afterwards is unfathomable. Have you ever seen a psychologist and been assessed for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Flashbacks and not being able to sleep, anxiety and depression can all be part of PTSD. I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. It is not at all surprising that you are having these issues. I hope that you have a support system/network of older women who you can turn to. If not, it might be really helpful to intentionally seek out some supportive older women who you can talk to and who can provide some mature input and nurture to you. God bless you. Sending you love and prayers.

[Cassidythomp94 in reply to menagerie11]

They made me see a counselor after my mom got diagnosed with cancer. Then after I got raped and my mom died I got told I have PTSD so I've known about it, I just push people away because I feel annoying in a sense when I talk about things like that because they don't understand. And thank you so much!

[menagerie11 in reply to Cassidythomp94]

People who specialize in PTSD would understand and could likely help. I lost my mom 17 years ago. She was such a big part of my life. When we are facing transitions and changes in life, we are especially vulnerable and can feel lost all over again-until things settle. I am in transition myself and experiencing anxiety. I seek people and places that are familiar and safe to help me at times like this. Blessings to you

[Cassidythomp94 in reply to menagerie11]

It just sucks.... knowing she's never coming back I didn't have her for my Highschool or college graduation I don't have her for any struggles I have I wish she were here so I could even call just to simply say hi and have a normal conversation but can I even get that? No it's frustrating at the age of 16 and my sister being 14 I had to grow up pretty damn quick to take care of her knowing my mom couldn't do much for her because of her sickness I understand it's not her fault but it sucked.... I didn't get my time to be a teenager and do normal teenage stuff

[menagerie11 in reply to Cassidythomp94]

It is HARD. No one can replace your Mom and I am sorry that she isn't there for you to help you with your struggles. Not that it's any consolation, but I didn't get to do much teenage stuff either due to my family circumstances. I went to school and worked part-time throughout. Now that I am nearing retirement, I realize that I have and can enjoy some things for the first time later in life and they are just as sweet. Although no one can replace your Mom, I hope that you have family members and good friends who are there for you for special occasions and when you need someone to provide support. It might be helpful if you were to write letters addressed to her, to help you express your feelings. Writing helps to get things out of our heads and hearts and sometimes makes things easier to cope with. Your sister is lucky to have you. Hold onto each other when the going gets hard and don't hesitate to reach out for help - professional or peer. All any of us can do is live one day at at time, or sometimes, one hour at a time. Breathe and be kind to yourself.

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear this , I to lost my mum to pancreatic cancer about 8 years ago and had to watch her go through the worst pain in the world , I started drinking after she passed away to block it all out I was raped and reported it , I have had no help I think I have ptsd but never been given any help I hope you get the help you need .

[Cassidythomp94 in reply to Hidden]

I started to drink after I found out about my moms cancer then I got raped and it was just a rough situation got diagnosed with ptsd after it all happened I just kind of pushed it behind me for the most part or tried so I could avoid the pain of everything

[Hidden in reply to Cassidythomp94]

It's very hard isn't it ;( x