Feeling lost and hopeless

[payson]

I've been depressed most of my life. Some days are better; some days are worse; some days are completely awful. I was diagnosed with several chronic disorders 5 years ago, and since then, I haven't been the same. I'm in pain physically and mentally, so it's difficult to do much. It's taken a toll on my marriage and my relationships with others. To make it worse, my mom passed away unexpectedly last year, and my best friend killed herself 4 months ago. I feel unmotivated, sad, anxious, and sometimes suicidal. I don't have a job and I feel like a parasite and burden living off my husband who works. We have a lot of debt that's all mine. Sometimes I think he'd be better off without me. I'm hoping to find support from others who understand my pain.

[Hidden]

You are not alone! You can change things. I like to handle my issues 1 thing at a time. I can't fix everything at once but I can fix 1 at a time. Every little bit better is better if you need to talk to someone... I'm here! Don't hurt yourself. I've tried it 3 times... I'm glad I didn't succeed! Tomorrow can be better!