Being cursed my anxiety my whole life. (23 years old)

Hi, I'm new to the group. I have had anxiety for my whole life or for as long I could remember. Everyone I met just thinks I'm shy but don't understand the demon that controls me. It's so hard to get through life like this. From being bullied through out school, to not be given the best chances to excel in my jobs. I rarely talk even though I want to. I want to make friends, I want to find my true love but my anxiety gets in the way. I have a 2 year old son, and I don't even know how I can be a good mother living like this, my ex left me when I was 6 months pregnant and I had to do everything myself. Until recently when it court order he provides and see his son. But I can't help myself from hating him. (Maybe that's part of my anxiety) I never want to be with him. I have recently been talking to another guy but every time he is free to meet I back out. We never have a set plan so it makes me anxious. And it hurts so bad cause he's so good to me. And I can't help but think maybe he shouldn't waste his time on me. Having a kid and all I can't get past why he even invesets so much time on me....... then I recently moved so I had to get another job and I feel so worthless cause I don't talk and everyone lets me know it. I feel I'll never get a good job ever! I get so anxious over the simplest things and if something happens it on my mind for week or even months. I can't escape this, and I don't know how much longer I can take of this.

2 Replies

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  • Well youre not alone. I feel so afraid and alone sometimes. I dont have any friends either. Its just easier to be a quiet loner. Its not fair to be tormented this way all my life. Its BS!

  • I sometimes tell myself end it all. I don't do it though to be honest I just remind myself of why l need to be here. I force myself for an hour to just breathe and calm down. Remembering why I am here in the first place

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