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[Lighton2]

Hello. Lost I saw your post. I am new here.

[kindlet1]

I'm new too... lost is the best way to describe me. It's nice to meet you.

[Lighton2 in reply to kindlet1]

Sorry... I was trying to reply to the other person. How are you kindlet1?

[Blabla4joy in reply to Lighton2]

Hello. This is Blabla4joy. I just saw this in my email. I'm very new and can't hardly figure out how this works. Will try to follow. Don't even know how you got in my email. My memory is terrible

[Billmemp in reply to kindlet1]

Hi Kindlet. It's nice to meet you. Kindlet why do you feel lost. Do you have a lot on your plate?

[Lighton2]

Kindlet1 it is nice to meet you as well.

[Billmemp in reply to Lighton2]

Hello, I am new here today as well. Would just like to say hello to everyone.

[Lighton2 in reply to Billmemp]

Hello Billmemp.

[Billmemp in reply to Lighton2]

Hello lighton2. Hope you are having a nice day. Happy 4th

[Lighton2 in reply to Billmemp]

Thank you. Billmemp. Hope you are as well.

[Billmemp in reply to Lighton2]

Hello Lighton2. How are you today?

[kindlet1 in reply to Lighton2]

I'm sorry, I just got back. I'm not good... so much noise in my head

[kindlet1 in reply to kindlet1]

Sometimes it's hard to make sense... but good news is I start my PTSD and anxiety therapy in a couple of weeks

[kindlet1 in reply to kindlet1]

It's been a rough week

[Lighton2 in reply to kindlet1]

Sorry to hear. Yes, I'm not sure exactly why I have been struggling with this for years. I tend to hold a lot of things to myself.

[Lighton2 in reply to Lighton2]

Hope the therapy will work well for you kindlet1.

[kindlet1 in reply to Lighton2]

I have held it to myself because I feel I'm the blame. I think I may be wrong in that, I'm going to therapy in a couple of weeks to drag out the monsters... I'm scared but I can't keep going like this

[gogogirl in reply to kindlet1]

Hey, I have a LOT of guilt also. Trust me, guilt does not accomplish much.

[Billmemp in reply to kindlet1]

Yea I think we all see one of those now and then

[Billmemp in reply to kindlet1]

Yea it's been kind of rough for me to. I'm so tired of suffering.

[Billmemp in reply to kindlet1]

Yea I believe we all experience wanting to make sense of it all. But it sounds like you are struggling with some hard times. I do as well except I have a lot of physical issues that keep me struggling through my thought process. Would you care to share with me what it is that you are going through?

[Blabla4joy in reply to kindlet1]

What are your PTSD simptoms? I think I have it.

[Billmemp in reply to kindlet1]

Hi Kindlet. No need to apologize. What kind of noises are you hearing sweetie?

[Billmemp in reply to Billmemp]

I know my noises that I hear sometimes really depres me

[kindlet1 in reply to Billmemp]

I have suffered anxiety since I was a little girl. Sleep walking into dangerous situations, etc... I have been abandoned with a baby, where my parents deserted me for bringing shame, I have been in neglectful and emotionally abusive relationships. I did my best by my 3 kids through it all, while hearing how I get what I deserve for poor choices. And finally my daughter and i found her father dead. I feel I'm to blame because I divorced him and wasn't there to save him. I don't actually hear voices, just my jumbled thoughts and a lifetime of guilt... I hear people will leave me or I messed up again...

[kindlet1 in reply to kindlet1]

I have panic attacks, only I start breathing heavy and run, walk out, blank out and say things I hate. Nightmares. Love those. I got the ones that made me run from my bed into my kids rooms or corners shaking under control, but they were replaced with sleep heart attacks. I'm 50, and it took me this long to finally go to a doctor, smart huh? My anxiety is a disorder because I waited so long, and I have had PTSD for years. There are lot of noises...

[Blabla4joy in reply to kindlet1]

Get rid of the guilt. People make mistakes. Don't mean you suffer the rest of your life. God gave you those kids. They are a gift from God no matter what people say. He forgives you your mistakes if you ask him. Let him heal that and look at your children as a blessing. They are not punishment. God knew you would need that child even though your parents turned you a way. He chose you to be the mother. He wants to turn mistakes into something beautiful. Let him carry you the rest of the way. He has great plans for you. Write your story in a journal for your children. It will help you to get your feelings out on paper. Write to God. I use to do that. It helped me for years after 22 years of abuse. I stopped and I think that's why I'm in the shape I'm in now. I think I will start back. Thanks for reminding me. See how your already helping me. We have to talk about these things and get them out. Get them off our chest. It will help

[Billmemp]

Hello kinlet1. It's a little late but just sitting here listening some firework. I am so sorry life has dealt you some heavy blows. Sounds like you have had a lot of drama in your life. I do my best to try an not get into a lot of drama. My biggest prolems are my health. It started when I was 27 years old. I'm 56 now. I contracted a condition called crones. Since then I have had 4 different major surgeries. I only have 20% of my small bowel left which makes life a little difficult. Then about 5 years ago I contracted an disease called peripheral neuropathy. It keeps me chasing pain 24/7. But I belong to a group of guys who have had some bumpy roads. Anyway kindlet1 time for me to go. It was good chatting with you, and I hope you sleep well. And have a good day tomorrow.

[Bulliedinlife1981]

Well hello welcome

[Billmemp in reply to Bulliedinlife1981]

Thank you

[lostgirl75]

Hi kindlet

Sounds like you have a good start on things. At least your moving in the right direction and just getting the help from a OSI clinic for PTSD will help. Or if it's not a OSI clinic you may want to check one out because they are amazing for dealing with PTSD. I have had my fair share of dealngs with others that suffer from PTSD and have never been diagnosed but I often wonder if I suffer from it.

Welcome to our group its actually a good place to just talk things out with others that understand what your going through. And trust me anything bad that has happened isn't your fault life sometimes deals us a bad hand.

Lostgirl

[Billmemp in reply to lostgirl75]

Hey kindlet1. What is an osi clinic and how was your day?

[lostgirl75 in reply to Billmemp]

It's occupational stress injury clinic that really focussed on ptsd

[Hidden]

Take your time and deal with the most important matter first, don't be in a rush.

[kelli333]

Welcome! You can talk to me at anytime. I have a lot issues probably like you. You aren't alone.

[Billmemp in reply to kelli333]

Thank you for the courage to be willing to help strangers on the internet.