Depressed

[Carin28]

Hi, I'm Caren. Been very depressed since only child grew up. Don't seem to fit in anywhere. Feel life has become meaningless.

[Hidden]

The empty nest syndrome sounds hard. Do you call or text your child? It may help to establish a routine like calling every week on a certain day just to catch up. I moved 600 miles from my dad for a new job and he and I often chat every Thursday. You are important and brave for sharing in here. What things would you like to try to do - painting, tutoring students, volunteering at a local animal shelter?

[Carin28 in reply to Hidden]

Thought of all those and have worked with kids but I miss my life the way it was before.

[Hidden in reply to Carin28]

I'm sorry for how difficult it is. It's sounding to be a deep grief. Is there anything you can do to feel supported from your family or friends? Is there anything you need from us in the forum? I'm asking because I do care and want you to know you are not alone.

[Carin28 in reply to Hidden]

Not really. It is grief. I see a psychologist. Everyone thinks working full time will solve everything and I tried and it doesn't. I'm starting to feel numb and as if I have no control.

[Hidden in reply to Carin28]

What do you think is best? You are in charge of you, not everyone else. Taking vacation? Getting on an antidepressant? Start working half days if that's possible? Make a list of things that might help and discuss with your counselor. Equally feel free to name the ideas that don't work. You sound overwhelmed and maybe discussing pros and cons will help you target one area that brings joy back into your life.

[Carin28]

Yes. You are right, I am in charge. You have given me much insight.

[Hidden]

Hi it's time to understand that you are not just a mother and that you are an individual too with your own needs and desires. Try and remember back before you had your child, what did you like doing then? What hobbies did you have?

It sounds like you have too much time on your hands now and you need to be busier and start reinventing yourself. If you don't need the income why not consider some voluntary work? This would only be very part time and it would get you out and about again. Or offer to walk an elderly neighbours dog? You need to feel needed again so look for something you can feel useful in and can make a difference.

[Findingme]

I feel the same, especially having moved back to my home town to help care for parents who now only need me occasionally. When people say 'Do not go back' they are no doubt thinking of times like this, not just going back to an old lover. The same reasons apply. What was wrong before is probably still wrong. I am older too, and do not have a child as a reason to meet new people. I want to move away and start over but my daughter still lives with me, but has felt settled here so I would feel bad about uprooting her again. Any ideas?