Better days

[Jade1992]

I can say I have had a better day today. I spent part of it with the man I love with all my heart (complicated situation). Just being near him and seeing him today had a calming effect. I do miss my family that has passed on and each day is a struggle. When I lost my Aunt on Monday it was like the scab was picked off the sore and somebody rubbing salt in it. I was there holding her hand as she took her last breath. I told her it was ok that she left us. In all reality it was not. I hated I lied to her, but I know she is in a better place and is no longer in pain. It's gonna be a long road.

[Hidden]

I am really sorry about your aunt and sending good thoughts and prayers your way. I don't think what you said was a lie, but a comforting truth for both you and for her. Right now is hard, so allow yourself to grieve the loss. Don't beat yourself up over words you said or didn't say but know that you did the very best thing by staying with your aunt until her last breath. That was courageous and self-sacrificing. That was brave on your part. Sending love and prayers.

[Jade1992 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. It was hard to do that. Part of me wanted to run to not think about it hoping that if I did that maybe it wasn't true. The other part said I had to stay and keep the brave face to let her know it was ok for her to go home. Also I couldn't let my mom do it on in her own. That was the hard part watching what it was doing to my mom and not knowing what I could do to help her. I didn't even know how to help myself.