Seeking wisdom

[Momof05]

Hi everyone, I am hoping to gain some wisdom from all of you .I myself do not suffer from anxiety and depression but my husband and best friend do ,I want to be helpful and undetstanding to them but i dont know what to do and what not to do. Id be so grateful to you all if you would help me in this aspect thanks.

[Jade1992]

Best word of advice is be patient with them. Try to find out what triggers their attacks.

[Momof05 in reply to Jade1992]

My husband was diagnosed about 2 years ago,we had alot of problems early in our marriage that i believe were actually do to this ,hes never really outwardly panicked but it seems to be more a constant state of Anxiety with bouts of depression, and i believe 90% or more of his struggle is internal.

[Jade1992 in reply to Momof05]

I understand fully. I too suffer from multiple problems some worse than others. All I can say is try and learn as much as possible about what he has and most importantly be patient and understanding. Does he have mood swings where one minute he's ok and then the next it's like a whole different person?

[Momof05 in reply to Jade1992]

Sometimes ,but more often than not its an hour to a day before he switches from seemingly happy and engaged to Angry and stand offish i know thats a terrible word but cant think of a better one .my twelve year old daughter has much more drastic mood swings like your describing.

[Jade1992 in reply to Momof05]

Has he been diagnosed with bipokar? That's what it sounds like what he has. I also have that so I know what to look for.

[Momof05]

He hasnt been diagnosed with anything our dr put him on some antidepressants or anti anxiety meds ( not sure which) but insurance issues prevented us from continuing to figure out exactly whats going on.

[Momof05 in reply to Momof05]

She just said it sounded like anxiety and told us to try the meds and get back to her. He said the meds helped .

[penrd]

My best advice to you, is be as patient as you can.

[EdanaBrietta]

I concur with everyone else: try to be patient. Also, try to be open if he wants to discuss his anxieties. I know that for me, talking about them helps, but I've been having a very long episode and my friends and family are all sick of hearing about it (it's been about 2 1/2 months for me). So, if you would really like to help him, be open to chatting if he wants to share. It will help. But also try to avoid pushing him to open up as that can backfire.

I want to commend you for seeking advice. I have heard many stories of friends and family, especially spouses, not wanting to help at all because they just don't understand or are resentful. Your husband is very fortunate to have someone so caring in his life.

[Momof05 in reply to EdanaBrietta]

Thank you. We spent a number of years fighting neither of us really understanding why . And since i realized that his behavior was more than just a personality flaw ,or him just not caring.weve been doing much better hes more open to talk to me and im trying to be as supportive and patient and understanding as I possibly can.

[kathleen25]

Hi, I'm in the same boat. My bf was recently diagnosed by a neurologist with depressive anxiety disorder, he is very moody and has a hard time getting back to baseline after something triggers him. It's difficult for me to cope with his moods at times, especially if whatever triggers his mood makes him act in an unkind way to me. He has taken no initiative to learn about his new diagnosis, although we have talked about it a few times. He has options for cognitive behavioral therapy and medication - I just really hope he takes advantage of these options. We have been making an effort to get daily exercise. He knows I am here for him 100%, and I intend to be, but it's a daily struggle for me also, as his bad moods can effect mine...