Trust

[scarsbeneathyourbeautiful]

Can someone please tell me... Once the trust has gone between you and your partner, can you ever get it back?

[CaptainCrunch]

Yes. It takes hard work and persistence and time. There are NO schedules. My wife was unfaithful for many years of our marriage. But God broke her and she changed. It was not over night and boundaries have to be made to rebuild trust. I believe God is for reconciliation you can see that in Jesus. He teaches us in time the strength to forgive and then the power to have Grace and Mercy and to live above the pain. You find yourself having more compassion and empathy for others that even try to do you wrong. It is truly a miracle.

[Hidden]

Honestly, I believe so. It depends. I think if you and your partner are committed to bettering your relationship, then you will eventually gain your trust back. It takes work, but it can be done. I've had a lot of trust issues with my husband, him and I were on the edge of divorce... But I gave him the chance to try and prove himself to me. We worked on ourselves and our marriage and now we are doing pretty good. I don't trust him fully sometimes, but I do for the most part. I wish you well! I hope all works for you ☺

[scarsbeneathyourbeautiful in reply to Hidden]

I feel like I have given him a million and one chances, and despite feeling so paranoid all the time and unhappy, I will continue to give him even more chances because I couldn't imagine being without him. He has changed his ways, he isn't interested in anyone other than me, I just can't trust him. It's such an awful feeling, it's driving me mad yet at the same times it's unfair on him, too. I just want to go back to how I was years ago, laid back, trusting and care free. Several things over the years have completely messed me up and I'm worried it will always be this way. Thank you.

[bluebayou in reply to scarsbeneathyourbeautiful]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's great your boyfriend changed his ways but sometimes you just need time to process. It's also ok to do what's best for you. Whether that means staying and working on the relationship or leaving because it no longer makes you happy. Hope you are able to eventually regain your ability to trust.

[Hidden in reply to scarsbeneathyourbeautiful]

I'm really sorry that you are going through this. Its a tough situation. Maybe you should try to give it a good year of trying to heal your relationship, if you are still feeling off about him by then, I would suggest you leave him. You deserve a happy life without feeling like he is doing something wrong. So don't waste to much time on him. Try to focus on helping yourself, in whatever positive ways you can ☺ Sometimes things have a way of working out. I hope all goes well for you.

[ShadowWalker in reply to scarsbeneathyourbeautiful]

It can never be the way it was. You both need to accept that. Once that is done, if you BOTH want to try again, you can. He has to accept that he has hurt you and you will be angry, lash out at him, paranoid, hurt, cry and it will take time for this to change. Even a year, maybe more. If he is willing to work on it and give you that time.... then yes, both of you can get past this. If you are BOTH not willing to put the time and effort in though. If he cant deal with your emotions as you work through it and if you can not TRULY FORGIVE him,,, then no. Its best for both of you to end this cycle. You say you have given him a million and one chances. Why? and dont say because you love him. Your loving him does not mean he loves you too. " Do not make someone a Priority who sees you as only an Option." Your wording makes it sound like his feelings for you are not as strong as yours are for him. Why do you want to spend your life with someone who causes you pain over and over? You need to make sure this is what is best for you. There are others out there who will love you that way you want him to. Keep that in mind too, you DESERVE someone who doesnt cheat on you. Who is there for you and who offers to help you with out being asked to. Who asks how your day was and LISTENS to your answer. Someone who MAKES you his Priority.

[AnneMcManus192]

I would say no - once the trust has gone it has gone - you will always doubt them and is a huge thing to kill that trust in the first place and they must face the consequences