Around 3 weeks ago now I fell into a really bad anxiety episode. Those of you with anxiety know that its a constant cycle between anxiety and depression. My anxiety and anticipatory fears give me a feeling of hopelessness, which feeds my depression, which causes me to stop doing the things I enjoy, which further exacerbates by anxiety, etc. My anxiety this time is centered around my mom's death. Only, here's the thing: she's perfectly healthy and alive. It's my fear of her death that is spurring my anxiety. When I'm not experiencing an anxiety attack about her eventual death (a long time down the road, but inevitable) I'm depressed and feel like I'm mourning her prematurely. It's all I can focus on.
Any advice? Everyone tells me to just enjoy my time with her while she's still here, but my anxiety is getting in the way of me doing that. I need help and advice.
(A little note: she's my main source of emotional support, the person I go to whenever I need a kind word or a listening ear. My father passed when I was 17, my grandmother passed when I was 22, and my grandfather passed last year. I'm an only child, no close cousins, and the aunt I am close to lives in Phoenix. So, losing her would be like losing the only family I have left.)