Is how I feel wrong?

I feel like this is the only place where I can fully express how I feel. I know my loved ones care about me but at the same time it's like no one does, and it hurts. I try not to let my past define me or continue to hurt me but I find it super hard. I've pushed many people away and that I can admit for reasons I really can't explain but sometimes I wished I hadn't so I can have someone to talk to, to hang out with, to just be around without feeling like a complete failure.

[Hidden]

Hi I'm sorry for how you feel right now.

What you say resonates with me, as I too pushed a lot of people away, thinking about it now I think it was a fear of being judged and being asked questions. I had changed such a lot and I wasn't well.

I don't like to bother family. And so like you I keep a lot to myself. I guess I feel the stigma too.

Coming here and writing how we feel is good , it gets it out there and I think that helps. As I have begun to heal I begin to change things little by little. I have hope that in the future things will change as I heal some more.

I guess I wanted to say you are not alone, and things can change with time.

You are not a failure. We do things to protect ourselves in my opinion.

Slowly I am doing a couple of different things and I have hope that as I continue to heal, as I feel up to it new people will come into my life.

All good wishes to you.

🌺🌺

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much. You don't know how much it means to know that there's someone who deals with the same things. It's not like I think I'm completely alone cause there are other people in this world but that's the way it feels the majority of the time like nothing is worth anything.

[BonnieSue]

If you're discouraged because you talk about how you feel when you're depressed and your family doesn't understand, well, I don't think most of them can understand. It's too much to expect from them. That's what this site is for...we can come here where people with depression and anxiety can come and we'll share what it feels like and share our frustrations and others will know what we're talking about.

[Hidden]

Yes agree with bonniesue ,

It's really good to come here and share with people who will 'get it'

It helps me.

I don't feel as vulnerable sharing here as I would with people in real life too.

🌺🌺

[syj77 in reply to Hidden]

Yes, coming here helps a lot for me. It is easy to share our thoughts and feelings without being judged as everyone seems understand and I dont feel insecure as I am in real life about my anxiety.

[Hidden]

100% the same

[Kobojunkie]

if they are your loved ones, then you should be able to sit them down and tell them what it is you feel or whatever it is you are going through. They may think you mad at first, but they are your lived ones and it is ok.

i kept my situation, from when i was a child till i was about 35 from my own mother. That was not a good idea. when i got past my shame and started opening up to her, at first she was not accepting of it but now she has become my one advocate should others try to gang up against me when i am down.

pushing people away is sort of what we tend to do a lot in our condition but nothing works better than learning to apologize and explain the unexplainable to those we hurt so they realize that we are to blame for how things turned out even though we really aren't, and that we appreciate them being there for us even if we are not in touch on a regular basis.

that is sort if the relationship i have with my friends. Some of them i have not spoken to in many years but since many now know ( from my explaining to them) that it isn't that I do not care or want them in my life, they are available when i need them to listen, sometimes i call once in two or three years and they still answer and we pick up from where we last talked. Maybe you can try that with yours.

humility is essential here. You cannot and should not hide your vulnerability or try to be hardened. Open up and let people know that you are not weak but you sort of are. ☺

[anonymous07]

I feel a lot the same. It's so hard explaining to those close to you what you are going through, but I feel like they never truly get it because they don't have the same problem.