Anxiety

[Jtwins93]

I'm not sure about what exactly my issue is.. I'm 25 and my whole life I've had trouble making friends and speaking in small/large groups.. I sometimes tend to avoid people and other times I socialize with people, but it's like I can't hold conversation. A lot of people say I don't talk, but it's just my mind goes blank when someone confronts me, especially if I'm the center of attention I'm so nice I tend to let people walk all over me and I can't help it. I haven't sought help yet because I don't really think my issue is severe. Any Advice?

[Hidden]

Hi many people don't feel comfortable in groups which is fine and normal. I think you should concentrate on making friends on a one to one basis rather than a crowd of friends.

Trying to be a people pleaser is a mugs game but very common. I used to be the same when I was younger until I realised that the only person I had to please was myself. You need to start building up your self esteem by doing things for yourself that you like doing. . Start with small things such as a new hobby. When you get older and start to know yourself better you will get a better sense of your own self worth. It could be a good idea to go for counselling too.

[azaleadalen]

I was the same way growing up and throughout college and still am to a point. I can talk with people one on one but get me in a crowd.. I used to be really self conscience about it, but now - it's me, who I am, and if people have a problem, well, it's not mine

Like the post before, you just need some confidence. Everyone knows me as the quiet one, and some people think it's weird right away, but once they get to know me - like they say, you can't judge a book by its cover.

If this issue is holding you back from accomplishing things you want to do, then maybe you want to think about seeking help. But if not, just be proud to be you, and maybe just work on some talking points just so if you are in a crowd you can join in and not feel like an outsider.

I've learned that if I'm listening intently, I can ask questions to clarify content (when questions are appropriate) - ask questions about the people, as some people love talking about themselves. It will let people know you are listening. Helps for me anyway.

[mfife14]

I kind of feel the same way. I have a hard time meeting people individually and in a crowd. I can maybe attribute it to the way I look and how I present myself. I don't feel safe for some reason. I need the confidence too.

Like the other two say - start with a one on one basis. Maybe have some common ground you both enjoy. Don't overwhelm yourself and look out for what you want as well.