New member looking for support

Hi everyone, I'm so glad I stumbled on this online community. I'm hoping to find someone that's going through something similar to me. My boyfriend struggles with anxiety. I love him dearly and I do my very best to be there for him, be patient with him, be caring and loving towards him, but a lot of the time it feels like it's not enough. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him, watching everything I say and how I say it so that I don't trigger an anxiety attack. And I can't be truthful about how I feel because that'll just make him feel guilty and anxious that I'm going to leave him. I have no intention of breaking up with him. I want to help him. I know we could conquer this thing together, but sometimes it gets so hard I just wanna scream and shake him until his anxiety falls out of him. And then I get angry but I know it isn't his fault. I try placing the blame on his anxiety and that does help sometimes, but I can only stay calm and level headed for so long until I snap again. It doesn't help that 75% of his anxious thoughts have to do with me. He's scared I'm going to leave him, that I'm not happy with him, that I'm going to cheat on him, that someone better is going to come along (without anxiety) and that I will choose him instead. It's difficult to maintain calm, cool, and collected when you feel like you're being attacked every day.

Anyone else have similar experiences or advice?

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  • I can understand where you're coming from 100%. My wife has to deal with my anxiety and panic. We've been together for 6 years and married for 6 months, she never really knew me when my anxiety was super bad. However unfortunate timing about a month after we got married I landed in the ER with my most severe panic attack in 10 years of dealing with it. These past 4-5 months have been extremely rough on us. And I feel like a failure, guilty, not good enough for her, feel she deserves better etc. however I know we're fine and she's there for me for anything and every thing. You need to get your feelings out to someone or it will eat you alive. I made my wife tell me multiple times exactly how she felt and she felt bad afterwards because it upset me. However it made her feel better and that's what I care about.

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