Self-sabotage

I've been fighting anxiety and depression since I was a child. I recall locking myself away in cupboards or closets to hide from my parents when they came to wake me for school. One day, they managed to drag me, reluctantly, to the school. Overwhelmed by the people and sounds, I slipped away into a bathroom stall and hid there, with my legs scrunched up on the toilet all morning and afternoon.

Here I am, at 26 years old, hiding from the world all over again. I stopped showing up to the job that I adored. I recently graduated and gave up the internship on campus that would have boosted my chances of graduate school placement. I keep telling my fiancé that I'd like to leave him, that he and our toddler son would be happier with a new mom.

Here I am pushing everything and everyone away. I want to stop before there is nothing left. How?

1 Reply

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  • You want to stop but why? Is it because you feel so bad? Why? Because you feel depressed and anxious? Do you want to feel better? Do you want to feel healed before you must move forward? Is that it?

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