Self medicating (more like self sabotage)

[Three_beats]

Happy Sunday all!

Well, I’ve yet to fill my prescription for my GAAD. I’ve been eating healthy, working out and finding things to keep me distracted. However, I’ve also been having more drinks to deal with social gatherings (even going to my in laws makes me antsy). My husband and I talked and he doesn’t like who I become. He says my whole demeanor changes and I even look different. It doesn’t take much to get me calm (I been having an extra glass now) but I do feel there is something that has changed. I don’t know what to do and I feel horrible for placing this burden on him. My children are getting older and I don’t want them to see me this way. So now that drinking is out of my equation what do I do to cope? I hate being out, I don’t like social gatherings and to add more anxiety..we’re having a birthday party next week for my middle child and obviously I will have to host, interact, etc. Just need some tips and a sounding board...

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Get your prescription sweetie. Go to therapy. My husband “self medicates” with alcohol. Way worse but that’s what he calls it. It’s awful to be around him and now he’s really bad off and it’s even harder. I hope you can find a way out now before it’s much worse. You can talk to me anytime. I’m around a lot. You have a whole group to support you here though. ❤️

[Three_beats in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Thank you so much. You’re right. I need to get my medication. I’m also having marital issues (not because of this though) which is another trigger to drink. But it’s making it worse and makes me more anxious. Anyhow, I’ll try to do this sober.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Three_beats]

I think you will be happier if you do and make clearer decisions. Alcohol people drink to feel better is actually a depressant and causes even more anxiety as well. I was lucky and never enjoyed the taste of alcohol. My grandfather was killed by a car full of drunk people. My dad was and now my husband is an alcoholic so that taints my view on drinking. I understand feeling the need to numb pain etc but it only comes back worse. If I had enjoyed the taste I may have drank more. We’re here for you though.

[Stilltrying_]

So true Hopeful-Tinkerbell I must admit that when I was very depressed I got into a bit of habit of drinking every day. Not a huge amount but over the limit. I became ill with acid reflux and then diarrhea about three times and then I decided on the third time that enough was enough; I needed to stop incase I end up like someone else I know who drinks every day (though a lot more than I did and for much longer) and now guess what? has liver problems. Everything is clearer when you are not drinking which is why I think I turned to drink as I didn't want to feel clear when the only "emotion" I had was depression and suicidal thoughts. Thank God all that has ended two months ago and then I found it easy to stop the nightly drinks. Chicken or egg ? Guess the improved mood helped me stop; along with the stomach problems and also just thinking that I don't want to end up like that other person.

So I know it's hard Three-beats, but I admire you for deciding to do it sober! Shows how strong you really are X Wishing you the best X

[Want2BHappy3]

Be careful sounds like you've traded one one habit for another? The medication wasn't helping ? You mention a refill? I only take my Meds if I feel shakey and sleeping Meds at night. My doctor said their non-addictive other wise I wouldn't take them. That's one more problem I don't need. Well take care

[Three_beats in reply to Want2BHappy3]

Yes. I totally have. It doesn’t help that alcoholism runs in my family. I was prescribed Effexor. I haven’t been on it in years but lately my anxiety has been off the wall, so I went back to my dr and he said it’s best that I go back on. I’m suppose to take them everyday but I’m hesitant because I’m not sure if I’ll be as responsive to the meds. But I will try this sober avenue and go back on meds.. thank you all for listening ☺️

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Three_beats]

How do you know you won't be responsive if you haven't tried?

Alcoholism is dangerous I believe it's heritary. My exhubands family are full of them. I warn my kids about it. So take care