rockbottom

I've completely hit rockbottom and I just feel really worthless and all I keep doing is crying and crying. For about maybe three hours I felt good and felt pretty unstoppable but now I just feel like I'm better off out of this world than actually in it.. I've checked out some techniques to help, I've downloaded the app "Calm" and it helps but then I go back to being sad. My ex.. Keeps confusing me, he tells me he loves me but he won't see me or even talk to me. If I call him he just gets mad and hangs up and it hurts because I thought he loved me but he's not willing to speak to me.. It's just confusing me... He says I'm obsessed with him but all I'm trying to do is just have lunch and talk to him but he just thinks I'm crazy... I don't get what I'm doing wrong, I did give him his space and didn't text him until he texted me.. He also said I'm just toxic... I've just given up but I don't want to because I really do love him a lot and I mean that but who knows if he really does...

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