Hi

[alycewanders]

Hello, I am new to this group and just wanted to say hello and share a bit about me. I have several mental health issues but have difficulty finding support as I am also physically disabled and often can't leave the house. I have been very depressed and lonely and need some support. Several years ago I eliminated all the toxic people from my life and now there's no one left. Lol I guess I'm not sure what else to say so I'll end there. I look forward to getting to know other people through this site.

[BonnieSue]

Congratulations on finding us and getting rid of any toxic people in your life! That may have been difficult but now it's over with. It may also have eliminated some one close to you, but it was a negative so you're probably much better off. Less drama perhaps. Fewer arguments perhaps. But now you have us! And since we're perfect...ahem...you won't ever have to worry about personal conflicts again! Okay, maybe we can't all agree on everything, I just WISH we were perfect. Or maybe not...I'll settle for being realistic and human.

We don't have a large community here so we have to make a special effort if you want regular support. I theorize the reason is due to so many new people coming here daily needing help. So we come here and see all of these cries for help and try to help out and have little chance to just visit with old friends. So those of us who are stable in our mental health must make special arrangements to just talk elsewhere, like in personal messages, to just have a chat with someone we know. I recommend you do that if you want regular support for yourself. A pm or personal message is started by going to the top of the page, clicking your name that you use here such as alycewanders, then type in my name until it appears in the second blank area in the message box and then begin writing. At the messages' end hit send.

[alycewanders in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you for the info. 😊 Have a great weekend!

[BonnieSue in reply to alycewanders]

Thanks, I am so far! I wish you the same!

[gogogirl]

Welcome. It sounds like you are a brave person with a lot to offer. I hope that you also benefit from sharing with the group , and from inspirational stories. Sometimes it seems to help finding someone who can relate. Also, it takes a lot of courage to unload and clean house. Then of course there is a void as you find other people who will be a match for you as you head forward.

[alycewanders in reply to gogogirl]

I just tried to reply but it's not showing up in my feed, so in case it didn't post, thank you and have a wonderful evening. 😊

[gogogirl]

I hope you do too. Also, I too am reaching out. I am "foreign" to the hi tech world so I am not sure about how to privatize a conversation. I understand that sometimes it is necessary to unload people, but most people are not all good or all bad. However, if someone was causing you pain that is a different story. Hey, if we were all perfect- life would be boring! However, I hope you enjoy your weekend, and know that I am here.

[gogogirl]

How are you doing? I hope that you are meeting some supportive people. I know it's hard. I just read an article about toxic people online. It was written by a mh counselor. It started me thinking although I do not agree with everything in the article. The premise was that people are not necessarily toxic, but they have imperfections. We all do! Some people ( the article states) are toxic because something about them pushes us to reflect on ourselves. Sometimes there is a communication breakdown. Sometimes even we might be "toxic" to someone. My definition of toxic is usually when someone exhibits cruel and abhorant behavior such as : stealing, abuse, abandonment etc. Sometimes people stop calling others simply because they are no longer "useful" to them or they have "changed". This is our world of "individualism" even though we are interconnected. I know some people ( who are older) who cleaned house, and regretted that afterwards. I do not know your situation , but the trade off sometimes can be very hard. Silence sometimes can be more deafening than arguments etc. If this is working better for you in your life then that is different.

I met someone personally years ago who is very unforgiving towards others. In her mind only those who meet her standards are worthy of her. She even stopped speaking to relatives who helped raise her , and stopped even speaking to her own mother because she did not meet her standards. She is not the happiest of souls.

[alycewanders in reply to gogogirl]

No, you don't know my situation and you should have stopped there.

[gogogirl in reply to alycewanders]

You're right- and I am sorry I put the proverbial foot in my mouth. I know even years ago, I had some disappointments with people I thought were different. I have also met some wonderful and interesting people over the years, and am really glad that I came upon this site. Anyway, thank you for your post, and wish you a nice weekend.

[alycewanders in reply to gogogirl]

You have a lovely weekend as well.

[gogogirl in reply to alycewanders]

Thank you again for reaching out and taking the time. You sound like a nice person.

[alycewanders in reply to gogogirl]

You're welcome, and thank you. I hope that you find the help and support you need here and look forward to talking to you more. And don't worry, I put my foot in my mouth sometimes too. 😊

[cheesecakerocks]

Hi! Welcome. I'm new too. Hope you're doing better.

[2stroke]

alycewanders

I'm sure you'll get good honest friends and advice on this site. write more,

good luck and best wishes.