Hey community I am a 48 yr old female. In 2007 my father passed away. I read about it in the newspaper. The next 2 years his parents passed, memaw and papa.
The next year I lost my grandma. She raised me. ( she was my great grandmother.) Then the next 3 years I lost my grandma and grandpa, my mom's parents. Then I lost my mom.
Now I can't function. I am lost.
You read about your dad in the newspaper? Wow, that must have been tough. Sometimes family can be hard. You have reached out, and that is a courageous first step. I am here .
It's been years but it still hurts...everybody keeps telling me to let it go...move on....I just ask them HOW?
They have no answer
Exactly, they have no answer. I have many regrets about the past, and I get the same, but there is no how? If you feel like it, we can communicate. Like I said I am here, and I will not tell you to let it go. Sometimes people just need to be validated- that is all, and get a hug not a cheering section.
Exactly.....a hug and a kind word would be amazing.....yeah I would really like to communicate with you.....you seem to really know that I'm not crazy I just need to be heard.
You are not crazy- ( I know not the word to use)- you are human, and you get a hug from me. Do you have any other family - like brothers/sisters or even close friends who are really there for you and not just into themselves- people who really get you? How is your day going today? Again, I am here.
Oh, so you push people away because you lose the people you love because they die. That makes sense. You don't have to love me, you can just be nice to me and we can just talk. Is that ok?
Please
Ok, I have depression and anxiety that used to be very bad but it's been under control so very long and I really appreciate that. I'm on meds that let me have a great, happy and almost normal life and I'm grateful for that life. How are you feeling? Okay, I hope?
I used to have good days ....Now it seems I wake up crying and fall asleep crying.
I know you can talk to people, I've seen you talking. I have 3 sons who I love. My husband died last year. I cried a lot before he died because he had dementia and became like a different person and was abusive. I cried for the person he became was incredibly hurtful and destroyed our marriage but I decided to stay because he was sick and I took vows to take care of him if he was sick, just as he stayed with me when I was sick. When he died I was sad but not as if I'd lost the man I married. That man was gone long ago. Now I'm alone except for 1 son who's still at home due to his illness.
I'm ok with being alone, I rather like it. My son is often in his room, trying to rest at all odd hours of the day and night. He's hoping he can resume college this fall if he's still feeling better by then. I hope so, too. It does feel more secure to know he's around should I need him for some reason but I won't try to keep him here. I'll be fine. I've never been on my own before and I like it. Does that make sense to you? Wanting to not be bossed around by anyone? To have a place where my rules are the rules that reign? No one to argue around?
You sound like a very strong person. Can we "talk" some time also?
I would really like that
Which part? Being the boss lady? Feeling pretty good? I know the answer to that one. It's fun not having to answer to anyone but me. I run the budget around here and I decided this month to buy more stuff for the foster kids in this county just this month and I'm having fun doing it. I'm using all my best coupons and cash coupons for clothing for the older kids that I suspect no one thinks of. I never knew it could be so fun! And fun feels so good! And that's good for a person's mental health! I learned about a special room where all new clothes and toys are stocked like a store and they bring the kids in to select something for themselves. So I'm stocking a few things for that room. It feels SOooo good! Like I'm kicking up my feet!
So, do you get to do anything that you like to do? For years and years I didn't and couldn't. So if you say "no" I've been right there with you. And if you say "yes" I'm right there, too! Tell me about it if you say "yes!" or even "no!" Tell me what you had to say "no" to, please.
Is this the end of the road for me?
mothers day without a me. other