I know my living here had bumpy rides but it's much better to be with my sister, grandma and mom than alone with mom or all alone at home. I had gotten sick because i was isolated, hungry and cold. It's grandma's nameday aka the day of the saint she was named after - Saint Stephen and my grandma is really really religious, works in the church, and really family oriented.... Out of nowhere she says "let her go, I'm ok with little". I want my sister here also if she's not here, mom will sleep next to me again. Also 15 years she blackmails me into coming for Christmas, i couldn't go to the only concert of an artist i like that came to Bulgaria because we didn't have money. Now grandma tells me "you go to a concert". My social life died 15 years ago. I wanted to go to Ed Sheeran in August for my birthday and i didn't. For 25 years i haven't went to a concert of an artist i like. All the artists i like are American, British, Australian, Korean, Thai, Chinese. When am i going to see them? Never in my lifetime. Meanwhile she has seen this band, they're Bulgarian, they will come again. Idk why she's crying. I should sacrifice myself for family but my sister will put me under the train. When im emotional, im a b1tch, but when she is, "she can go, im grateful that she came". If she goes, she will break all contact with me again and i will be stuck with mom and grandma as only gen Z and youngest and in the same room. Could i have at least one moment of peace?
Update my sister left without even hugging me in the last few minutes. And i run from home to calm down. I ran away on a tshirt in the December. My grandma came claiming im the bad guy, im making her heart uneasy. But am i the one who went to a concert? She encouraged my sister to go to a concert but i can't even take a walk to cry?!
