I know my living here had bumpy rides but it's much better to be with my sister, grandma and mom than alone with mom or all alone at home. I had gotten sick because i was isolated, hungry and cold. It's grandma's nameday aka the day of the saint she was named after - Saint Stephen and my grandma is really really religious, works in the church, and really family oriented.... Out of nowhere she says "let her go, I'm ok with little". I want my sister here also if she's not here, mom will sleep next to me again. Also 15 years she blackmails me into coming for Christmas, i couldn't go to the only concert of an artist i like that came to Bulgaria because we didn't have money. Now grandma tells me "you go to a concert". My social life died 15 years ago. I wanted to go to Ed Sheeran in August for my birthday and i didn't. For 25 years i haven't went to a concert of an artist i like. All the artists i like are American, British, Australian, Korean, Thai, Chinese. When am i going to see them? Never in my lifetime. Meanwhile she has seen this band, they're Bulgarian, they will come again. Idk why she's crying. I should sacrifice myself for family but my sister will put me under the train. When im emotional, im a b1tch, but when she is, "she can go, im grateful that she came". If she goes, she will break all contact with me again and i will be stuck with mom and grandma as only gen Z and youngest and in the same room. Could i have at least one moment of peace?
Update my sister left without even hugging me in the last few minutes. And i run from home to calm down. I ran away on a tshirt in the December. My grandma came claiming im the bad guy, im making her heart uneasy. But am i the one who went to a concert? She encouraged my sister to go to a concert but i can't even take a walk to cry?!
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No_Longer_Human
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People are complicated and conflicts are inevitable. To me the question is: Is what you are describing part of normal life that everyone experiences or something else?
My heart breaks for you. I think from reading all of your posts , your family is your biggest cause of your triggers. They seem to have a different standard they hold your sister to. You have to ask yourself, what is best for you, being around your family and constantly being triggered or spend your time alone and not in turmoil all the time.
I'm sorry that no one gave you free will; I'm sure that hurt greatly. It's not right to take someone's free will away. I'm confused by your last sentence. To me, you are saying that people who hurt others need to be restricted in their freedoms. Is this correct?
You can't dictate the movements of others. Just like it's not right for others to do that to you, it's not right for you to do that to others.
The way I see it, I think you are indirectly trying to get back at those who tried to restrict your movements. This is not a criticism but an observation. You want to "get back" at those who tried to hold you back from your full potential. If I am correct in thinking this, then I get it. I really do. Think about how much you didn't like being treated that way. If you resented being treated that way, don't you think others would resent being treated in the same manner?
Hi again,I'm incredibly concerned as to why you picked the examples of free will that you did. While I'm not sure where the idea of giving examples even came from since I didn't ask for any, I'm not nearly as distraught by that as I am by the examples themselves (which CLB1125 very rightly says is not free will but murder)
You've assured me that your first example of robbing a bank is just an example. I will now ask the same of your second one (although to even cite murdering someone is extremely worrisome and upsetting in itself...). Even if you come back and say it's just an example, I strongly urge you to get help.
I agree with you Alpakka, ...I sorry to say but this just isn't healthy expression....they are threats....and one serious threat to someone's life....if your talking about it, your thinking about it...and in some countries that is serious enough for some kind of intervention. You need help before you really do possibly act on these 'free will' expressions. If they were meant to be sarcastic, I'd use less upsetting examples.
I won't engage in this post anymore, or with this poster after their last comments. I would recommend you do the same....
You to faux: I'm trying out different shocking and upsetting statements, and I need you to tell me which one would qualify me for disability status (aka. being criminal insane).
Me : *has ptsd*The US : That's a danger to society! Get the troops! Dangerous terrorist on the loose!
Okay, where's my free will? To work? Dad had free will. I paid for his sins with blood, sweat and tears and my mother. I won't unalive anyone. But well i see i have no value. I see fetuses and babies have more worth than women in America anyway. Do i want to be the hero or the villain in this society? Im asking you - where's MY free will? Only dad has free will somehow. Only men have free will somehow. Where's MY value? It's non-existent. For the first time im glad im not American. That's how low America has gotten since i openly hate my country
I’m not sure exactly what you are trying to say. So it’s best that I don’t say anything. But I will say you need to find a professional that can help you sort out your thoughts.
Well, welcome to East Europe. We're all treats here but woah danger to society? What a title. Thank you. Where's my crown? Dang, i stay right next to Bin Laden, Putin and Kim Jeong Un
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