I need to get a new life ,I need to get a new kidney so I can live I also need to get my anxiety under control

I need to get a new life ,I need to get a new kidney so I can live I also need to get my anxiety under control

I'm stage 4 kidney disease I really need somebody to help me deal with my anxiety with too many people around me I can't handle it University of Virginia will not give me a kidney unless I have my anxiety under control I need some support group to help me with this please really need to live longer I miss my loved ones I really need this help please help me I don't want to do I don't want to be alone I need my anxiety under control so I can get me a kidney thank you so much

22 Replies

  • Pinkie, do you have a therapist ?I

    Would recommend that first. CBT is good for anxiety. Do you take psych meds? Why won't they give you a kidney with anxiety ? We all have anxiety on this site. Some due to depression, some panic disorder,some OCD. I myself have OCD and it comes with high anxiety at times. Write back and tell us what you are currently doing for anxiety.


  • Well to me it feels I'm not good enough for VIA think I have too many issues I'm not depress I can't handle way too manypeople around me & male doctors just scare me because I have Benn rapedbut not by doctors by the posit sex

  • Not yet but I see a counselor

  • I have a counselor they want me to see a psychiatrist as well to me it feels like they think I'm crazy and I'm not

  • Well I am trying to controll it ,it's hard at times to deal with and yet still trying I'm taking Antivan 1mg I am gonna talk with my doctors to see if they could up the dos for now ,and I know later that I will get better & yet as well it will take time ,I have been threw at 25 or more deaths in my family plus the lost of my closet friends plus the love of my pet's ,I have been on my own Sence I was 12, I stayed with a friends but then when I got older had two ungreatful kids they hate me so bad ,I was real young when I had gotten pregnant the things that I know now well things I hope that I can deal with better ,my anxiety has been getting worst now that I'm getting blamed for everything ,I want to go back to Michigan so bad ,I don't feel like I belong anywhere but Michigan where I truly belong not down state up across the big Mac bridge.

  • Hi Pinkie,

    When your anxiety is high, you don't want to be alone, you want to be around other people. I don't know why that is, it simply is. Somehow you feel safer around others. Another help is to see your doctor and to be put on medicine for your anxiety. Do you think this is possible? With your kidney problems I have no idea if your doctor is willing to do this or not. It would probably be temporary.

    There are plenty of non-drug ways to work through your anxiety but it takes time to learn them. I have a long list of these ways and if you're interested I'll print them out here. Just tell me that you want them.

    There are a few simple ways such as breathing that you can probably figure out on your own. if you feel you might be too anxious, try breathing in slowly and count slowly to 4, and then exhale counting slowly to 4. Repeat this a few times and see if you notice a change. If you do, then probably you noticed that you had been breathing much faster until you started counting.

    I'm very sorry that you have kidney disease and need a new one. I know this is a difficult problem with a difficult solution. I wish you the very best future with a successful transplant.

  • I just found out UVA won't see me they think that I'm not good enough

  • Maybe it's time to get you on a program for handling your anxiety and bringing it down and under your control. This is without meds. I'll print my list that will take up a lot of room here but it'll give you a lot of options to choose from as far as self help. Then you always can see a doctor about an antianxiety drug if you want to add that to the mix. Anyone would be anxious in your situation. But if it's obvious you have it under control, I think that would help you get accepted.

    Some natural remedies and non-drug sources of information are books, videos, and workbooks suggested by other people on this site:

    1---"I've found David D. Burns' "Feeling Good" and "When Panic Attacks" to be very helpful."

    2---"I am working through the anxiety workbook by Dr David Carbonell and it has helped immensely!!! " His website is anxietycoach.com

    3---psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways...talks about ”9 ways to reduce anxiety now”

    4---The book Freedom From Fear by Neil T. Anderson. Addresses the spiritual aspect of the battle of anxiety with a holistic approach and the peacefulness God gifts to us.

    5---Dr. Jonice Webb authored "Running on Empty: Overcome your Childhood Emotional Neglect"

    6---Mindfulness has helped many people and is now recommended by doctors in the UK. Here’s just 1 link that explains it’s usefulness: heartwoodrefuge.org/benefit... Another option of many is called MINDSHIFT. You can download it to your phone from Google Playstore.

    7---TRE (Trauma releasing exercises) is something you can learn in a class but you don't have to talk about your problems and once you have learned the technique you can use it at home.

    8---UK site for stress, anxiety and depression information: panic attacks: nhs.uk/conditions/stress-an...


    10---"A good book that I came across recently is The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, 6th Edition by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD. You might find this book to be of some help to you, although communicating your thoughts and feelings in a group setting is enormously helpful as well. "

    11---“The book DARE, which is about anxiety. It’s a very good book about accepting anxiety and letting go of the fear. The author is Barry Mcdonagh and he also has a YouTube channel and a Facebook support group.”

    12---For anxiety: Claire Weekes audio books on iTunes. “Self Help for Your Nerves” is one title that is good. You can see her on YouTube. “The Dr. Claire Weekes book is easy to understand and will help you on your way to recovery through acceptance.” Someone else says: “I like the paradigm of acceptance by Dr. Claire Weekes in Hope and Help for your Nerves. It is the preeminent book of self help for people experiencing anxiety disorders and the depression that accompanies it.”

    13---I would also add Don't Panic by Dr. Reid Wilson.

    14---Another really good CD and book is the Linden method.

    15---How to be good with yourself: self-compassion.org/the-thr...10---Try the meditation app called Headspace. It's done in 10 min. slots once a day.

    16---Videos on YouTube by THAT ANXIETY GUY helps with anxiety re: depersonalization/ de-realization states.

    17—For UK residents: Have you ever been in touch with the organization called MIND? They offer one to one sessions with a Project Worker free. They also run courses that you can attend free of charge. One of the courses is about anxiety. Their website is mind.org.uk

    18---"Go on the Psychology Today site and look for a therapist that specializes in anxiety." Psychology Today has listings with psychiatrists and psychologists and therapists with their pictures and the therapists’ specialties and philosophies, sliding scale fees if they have them, education and insurance accepted and other details they choose to post for you.

    19---Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? self-compassion.org/the-thr...

    20---“Have you ever listened to Louise Hay on YouTube? Some of the talks help motivate you and hopefully you will feel a positive energy.”

    21---“I called one of these online therapist sites. The therapist was really good. It was prestoexperts dot com. Her name was Lori Burke. Definitely a professional and she got me through this awful depression/anxiety morning.” (There is a charge for this service)

    22---For meditation look at:

    Tara Brach and Chopra Center


    24---Anxiety No More by Paul Bywater. A phone app.

    25---At Last a Life book by Paul David.

    26---The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook

    Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance

    By: Matthew McKay PhD, Jeffrey Wood PsyD, Jeffrey Brantley MD

    A Clear and Effective Approach to Learning DBT Skills

    First developed for treating borderline personality disorder, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has proven effective as treatment for a range of other mental health problems, especially for those characterized by overwhelming emotions. Research shows that DBT can improve your ability to handle distress without losing control and acting destructively. In order to make use of these techniques, you need to build skills in four key areas-distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

    Source: NewHarbingerPublications

    Caution for non-Buddhists: Zen Buddhism inspired aspects of DBT, along with behavioral science and dialectical philosophy. Source: GoodTherapy.com.

  • How do I handle hot s and felling I'm going to pass out?

  • I don't understand what "hot s" is, I'm sorry.

    I do understand the feeling that you're going to pass out...this happens when you're breathing too fast and probably too shallowly, so start counting slowly and take a deep breath in....1....2....3....4.....hold.....1....2.....exhale....1......2.....3......4.....breathe in...1....and so on, counting slowly in a comfortable way that works for you....but slows you down. If you still feel lightheaded, breathe into a paper bag, still counting slowly but not gasping, breathing comfortably.

    Can you tell me what you meant by hot s?

  • I feel like I want to be alone there's just scare me

  • Thank you so much I will try whatever it take to help me thanks so much and may God bless you

  • I am so sorry you are going through this and feel alone. I am like you Pinkie62 I can'tell stand to be around lots of people also even though we need them at times. Please know we are here to listen and give you support.


  • I do take 1mg Antivan but I don't think it's strong enough for me ,yes I know that I need to control Iit ,I just don't feel comfortable around a lot of people please help thank you.

  • Thank you I never had anyone who really cares for me before all these boys that call themselves a man only want one thing from me & that's not for me oh I'm not gay I'm straght but still trying to find Mr right I guess

  • Thank you if u want you could call me any day 1-540-958-4003

  • I need to chat with someone who knows how I feel & what I'm going threw plz call 1-540-958-4003

  • Okay, I think you want SuzyQ to call you.

  • Or you to me it don't mater

  • If you ever want me to call you, let me know and I will. Maybe no one else has time to call you and I will take a turn. I understand what it's like to be very anxious and how miserable it makes you. I understand not wanting to be around a lot of people when you're so anxious and your medicine doesn't make you feel normal again. Like it's not enough. I've been through day after day endlessly struggling to get through each hour with too much anxiety and absolutely miserable. Wondering when relief will ever come. Trying to distract myself with anything and everything just to make it through another hour. So very sick and tired of the stress and misery. Shaky and anxious and no end in sight.

  • Thank you so much you are an angle sent

  • I liked talking with you. You're a nice person to talk with! Feel free to call me if you hit a bad spot in your day. I'll do my best to make time and if I can't talk right then I'll arrange a time that I can asap.

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