I was in hospital for a year after a surgeon made a total mess of a laparotomy and separation of adhesion's (from an older surgery). He left a piece of colon floating loose but with a blood supply causing repeated sepsis. I was always prone to anxiety which if prolonged took me into depression - this was a chronic condition. This horrible surgical experience has thrown me into an acute state of anxiety and depression which has now lasted two years. I feel paralyzed, in pain, without interest and enthusiasm or empathy for myself or others. How I was my old self back but I think he is gone forever and the future is just so hopeless. I have tried a whole range of medication, counselling etc etc and nothing seems to work. I just wish it or I would end.