Alone in a crowded room

[Dragonfly77]

Hi. I'm new to this. Everyday, I feel like I'm failing my life. I attempt social things and feel like I'm pushing myself on others when I attempt to be social. I immediately blend into the background and listen to everyone else....inside, im screaming

[BonnieSue]

You don't mention any anxiety or depression, just difficulty mixing into social situations. How did you come to this site to post your situation?

[Dragonfly77 in reply to BonnieSue]

There's more to it then that, I guess regarding my depression anxiety. At work, I am not accepted by my contemporaries. I am always second guessing myself. I see myself as a failure, daily.

[BonnieSue in reply to Dragonfly77]

Can you name some symptoms of depression or anxiety? I still see social insecurity but not dep/anx. Have you been diagnosed with either dep/anx.?

I'm very sorry to hear you aren't accepted by your contemporaries. That's very difficult to live and work with. And 2nd guessing yourself is pure misery. Have you considered counseling? I think you would greatly benefit from it. Maybe even in a group when the time is right.

[gogogirl in reply to Dragonfly77]

Are you doing a job that you enjoy or at least feel connected to? I know work is not supposed to be "fun" but being with people who do not accept you is not the way it is supposed to be. Been there many times. Have you tried anything with your co workers such as bringing in some food or inviting them out for a bite? Or are they negative and blasting? I have actually been at work situations where I was the only one who was not invited. You could do it this way even though it's hard: Work, collect the pay, and that's that.

[gogogirl in reply to gogogirl]

This happened many years ago: Ended up quitting a job that was not a fit socially or the right field even though I have a degree. I remember the interviewer said: "You'll never fit in. You have a loser personality." Someone else wanted to hire me. People would go out to lunch but I was never invited. Now, financially, I deeply regret quitting. However, I have found out: Regrets can KILL you!

[kbe0530 in reply to BonnieSue]

If read the post you’ll see that it’s full of anxiety.

[BonnieSue in reply to kbe0530]

You could be right, but some people are extremely inhibited or awkward socially without having psychiatrically diagnosable anxiety disorders. (1) Social anxieties and the (2) health anxiety described are very common among the otherwise "mentally healthy" population, too. I wanted to be careful not to talk about medication and more to someone who may not have an anxiety disorder. I simply needed Dragonfly77 to tell me more which s/he did in the next sentence. Mission accomplished.

[Lovejones1983]

I have this problem also... Most times I just end up leaving so I won't have to deal with anybody... I guess it's social anxiety...

[Blush311]

Hi, I sure know that feeling it's been hard for me to go to social gathering and I still don't do crowds that well, but I push myself, at times I have my moments when I just shut down. But I refuse to allow this thing to take over my life because anxiety is so real, but I have to push urself but at the same timr, take ur time

[anich]

Know the feeling. Do you have any interests or hobbies where you can speak comfortably about it?

[gogogirl]

I have been there. I feel relief just knowing that there is this site. I feel such guilt and regret sometimes, that I feel like a needle being scratched from a record. I feel like I have been at least a partial cause of pain.

[gogogirl]

I sometimes wonder if it's easier when people have long time friends and family around them - I mean the type who have known you forever- and seeing the doctor or the psych is the icing on the cake so to speak.

[kbe0530 in reply to gogogirl]

It’s not always easier with long time friends and family around. Most of the time I feel the need to “be better” when I’m around them. Which makes it a hell of a lot harder. They know how you were before and even though they love you they can’t always except what’s going on and why you just can’t go back to who you were before.