Rough week, feeling hopeless from depression and anxiety, stuck in my mind, trying to help myself... anyone to talk with? Thank you

I've had chronic low-grade depression for decades, and now it's peaking again, and I can't seem to get myself out of the downward spiral. Every time I carve out a small win, almost immediately something, or someone, will come right after it and it feels like destroying the small wins I tried to achieve. I'm in a very tenuous home situation, and may be homeless by the end of March. I feel so isolated and alone right now. I've read some posts here, and I feel like you all understand what it's like. I need to converse with someone so I don't feel so alone, please.

50 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi! I'm here if you want to talk. You don't have to be alone.

  • Thank you so much! I don't even know where to start, really, which sort of explains a lot in itself.

  • You said you feel isolated and alone. Depression always makes you feel alone, even if you aren't.

  • Yes, true. I had contacted a national counseling helpline a couple days ago, and the person who answered the phone recommended vitamin D. I have tried that, and it is helping somewhat with the mood swings, thank God.

    The nights and weekends are the worst... not sure exactly why...

  • Because you're alone?

  • Yes

  • Lots of people have a vit. D deficiency. I forget why. It might be in depressed people.

  • I found this:

    Many vitamins are essential to stable mental health and well-being, especially B vitamins and Vitamin D and C.

  • Thank you

  • Oh, yeah. And I'm OLD!!!OLD OLD OLD!

  • I am too. I just turned 52. The 16 in my 'name' is my inner kid age, the age when I felt Happiest. Through much fault of my own, and being too trusting of others for too long, I'm at my personal rock bottom. I have no idea how to dig out of it, and of course it's next to impossible to 'will yourself' to be happy and 'together' when you're in the midst of peak depression and anxiety.

    Thank you for talking... it helps to know I'm not alone.

  • I'm 60. just turned 60 and that sounds so old. But I don't feel old. I'm sorry that you might be homeless. I wish I could help. How can I help?

  • I hear ya. I still feel, rarely, but at times, like that 16-year-old. I have recently (began about a month ago) had glimpses of days long ago when I was relatively happy.

    Does that happen to others with depression and/or anxiety?

  • Talking helps. It helps to feel not isolated and alone. It's like an oasis. Thank you.

  • Sure!! I've had people reach out to help me when I needed them, so I do the same when I can. I've had decades of good mental health. I'm on meds and get counseling which I really don't need much but I keep in place because you never know what's coming next where I'll be grateful I've still got my counselor to see should, say, I lose a parent and need more support or something like that. I'm in my 18th year with my friend the counselor.

  • I'm so glad you responded to my first post. A kind, listening, and supportive ear is very much appreciated.

  • Good! Thanks for appreciating me!

  • That's the other thing... my mom passed on 3.5 years ago, and I've never fully dealt with the loss and grieving. I had grieved, deeply, for almost 3 years. The depression and anxiety may very well be generational, and environmental. I was my mom's emotional support for almost 50 years. While I loved her, and willingly helped her, that took an enormous toll on my own well-being, and I didn't realize it until she passed, then I felt rudder less, because I had lost the person I was caring for emotionally. Generational on both sides of her parents as well.

  • Are you saying your depression is hereditary when you say generational?

  • I believe so, yes. Also environmental, as she struggled her whole life with depression and anxiety.

  • Ok, I've got it. I call generational hereditary or biological or chemical and environmental I call situational. Interesting that there are so many names for each. You have a very good reason to be depressed when your mom died. I see God working at my sister and myself letting my mom go because she's getting some dementia and not being herself and so close to us as she's getting older and that makes it easier to be frustrated with her and to let her go. You maybe didn't have that aggravation with your mom.

  • My mom suffered from dementia also. One of the toughest parts was knowing when to jump in and help her when she could no longer help herself. There's no clear line. It's a family decision, usually, and that can be fraught with its own issues. I'm just now again in contact with my brother... we stopped talking about a year after our mom passed on.

  • We're worried about that, too. We have a sister-in-law that's consumed with her idea of "fair" with what we siblings inherit from my parents. My parents live with my sister's family and frankly that family is entitled to more for caring for them and it's none of SIL's business. We kids aren't complaining but SIL keeps trying to butt in. SIL has no shortage of wealth. It's ridiculous. We fear a falling out amongst siblings at parents' deaths and can't do anything about it. SAD.

  • I'll pray for you, your mom, and your family as well.

  • Oh, thank you so very much!

  • And you may not have a home. That's a major, realistic worry if it's true.

  • Yes, it is. And I've just lost my job, and haven't driven in a year, no car. I'm pretty much a basket case of issues right now.

  • At least your fears are realistic and not groundless.

  • Yes, but I have that worst-case-scenario thinking stuck on a loop in my brain...for 30+ years. I recently recalled exactly when that took hold, and I remember the conversation with my ex in which I explained what a good idea that was...because, if I always expected the worst, I would be 'pleasantly surprised' if/when it didn't happen. Ugh!

  • It's actually a good method most of the time. I guess it's not so good if you get stuck on it alone. I look at the worst that could happen and say ok, I can handle that and it's not likely to come to that. So I've faced the worst and now I can look at less than the worst and it isn't so scary.

  • So what kinds of help are available to you?

  • I'm not entirely sure. I've made a few calls, and have one resource where I can go if I continue to feel unsafe (emotionally, it's not a physical situation, thank God).

    I'm a Christian, and prayers are always helpful. A couple hours ago, I prayed from Psalm 91:4.

  • Ahh, a good one! You can keep praying in that one!

  • Yes, absolutely. I'm trying to self-counsel with Scripture, etc. I know I still need to 'do the work' in other counseling, but that's not yet possible.

  • Right. And why not use Scripture? There's nothing better. Actually I have a list of resources I've collected from other people on this site. Some are available for free online. You could listen or read the free ones. Do you want the list?

  • Yes, please. That would be very helpful.

  • I'm brand new to the site. How does that work? Just post a link here, or something else?

  • I'll post it here just like everything we've been posting and it'll show up at the bell up top as a red number in a circle that you click on same as before.

  • Isn't there a place for the homeless near you right now?

  • Fairly close, maybe 15 miles.

  • I can pray for you also. I'll just keep you in prayer all throughout the day today and each day. You're going to need it it seems.

  • Thank you so much. Yes, very much needed, and appreciated. I will reach out to some churches in the area also to ask that I be on a prayer list.

  • Yes! Great idea!

  • Thank you again. I'm going to get an hour's sleep before my day starts. A friend is coming by this morning to take me job hunting locally. Prayers always appreciated.

    I'll check back later this afternoon or evening (or sooner if I curl up in a ball).

  • OK! Great! I'll pray about a job.

  • Just ignore the ones you don't need, please.

    Some natural remedies and non-drug sources of information are books, videos, and workbooks suggested by other people on this site:

    1---"I've found David D. Burns' "Feeling Good" and "When Panic Attacks" to be very helpful."

    2---"I am working through the anxiety workbook by Dr David Carbonell and it has helped immensely!!! "

    3---Mindfulness has helped many people and is now recommended by doctors in the UK. Here’s just 1 link that explains it’s usefulness: heartwoodrefuge.org/benefit... Another option of many is called MINDSHIFT. You can download it to your phone from Google Playstore.

    4---TRE (Trauma releasing exercises) is something you can learn in a class but you don't have to talk about your problems and once you have learned the technique you can use it at home.

    5---"A good book that I came across recently is "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, 6th Edition" by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD. You might find this book to be of some help to you, although communicating your thoughts and feelings in a group setting is enormously helpful as well. "

    6---“The book DARE, which is about anxiety. It’s a very good book about accepting anxiety and letting go of the fear. The author is Barry Mcdonagh and he also has a YouTube channel and a Facebook support group.”

    7---For anxiety: Claire Weekes audio books on iTunes. “Self Held for Your Nerves” is one title that is good. You can see her on YouTube. “The Dr. Claire Weekes book is easy to understand and will help you on your way to recovery through acceptance.”

    8---Another really good CD and book is the Linden method.

    9---How to be good with yourself: self-compassion.org/the-thr...10---Try the meditation app called Headspace. It's done in 10 mins slots once a day.

    10---Videos on YouTube by THAT ANXIETY GUY helps with anxiety re: depersonalization/ de-realization states.

    11—For UK residents: Have you ever been in touch with the organisation called MIND? They offer one to one sessions with a Project Worker free. They also run courses that you can attend free of charge. One of the courses is about Anxiety. Their website is mind.org.uk

    12---"Go on the psychology today site and look for a therapist that specializes in anxiety."

    13---Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? self-compassion.org/the-thr...

    14---“Have you ever listened to Louise Hay on YouTube? Some of the talks help motivate you and hopefully you will feel a positive energy.”

    15---“I called one of these online therapist sites. The therapist was really good. It was prestoexperts dot com. Her name was Lori Burke. Definitely a professional and she got me through this awful depression/anxiety morning.” (There is a charge for this service)

    16---For meditation look at:

    Tara Brach and Chopra Center

    17---theworrygames.com/anxiety-f...

    18---“AnxietyNoMore” by Paul Bywater. A phone app.

    19---“At Last a Life” book by Paul David.

    20---The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook

    Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance

    By: Matthew McKay PhD, Jeffrey Wood PsyD, Jeffrey Brantley MD

    A Clear and Effective Approach to Learning DBT Skills

    First developed for treating borderline personality disorder, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has proven effective as treatment for a range of other mental health problems, especially for those characterized by overwhelming emotions. Research shows that DBT can improve your ability to handle distress without losing control and acting destructively. In order to make use of these techniques, you need to build skills in four key areas-distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

    Source: NewHarbingerPublications

    Caution for non-Buddhists: Zen Buddhism inspired aspects of DBT, along with behavioral science and dialectical philosophy. Source: GoodTherapy.com.

  • It's posted!

  • I really do understand what you're saying because I've lived it too and please know that you are not alone.

    There are many things happening at once, but sometimes all any of us can handle is one small baby step at a time.

    It is important that you keep a roof over your head. Can you bring in a roommate to lower your monthly expenses or become a live in assistant to someone so that you'll have room and board?

    What about getting food stamps and disability money until you get a new job?

    There are ways to make money from home as well.

    You don't mention where you are located, but please try and find resources in your area that are set up to help you. There are job training opportunities in many cities but you need a home and a place to call your own.

    You are not alone and things can quickly turn around and get better. Try to hold onto hope as best you can...and never ever ever give up.

  • I suffer from major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder and ptsd. I am here for you or anyone else who needs some advice or just some support. Warm thoughts everyone's way💜💜💚💞

  • I have been in downward spirals , and you can talk to me. I just joined.

You may also like...