Looking for the light

[Forgottensoul]

I grew up in an alcoholic household with both parents drinking daily. My father was verbally, and emotionally abusive sometimes physically abusive. Both my mother and father neglected me! I was molested for six years by a friend of the family! I lived in a constant state of fear, I was plagued with nightmares and phobias. I am now looking for ways to improve my mental health.

[BonnieSue]

I am so very sorry about all the terrible things you have had to live through. I hope you have had extensive counseling to help you defeat these things and feel very good about yourself. If not, please seriously consider it to set yourself free from the memories and their influence. You describe what is now called PTSD in my opinion. This is serious business and deserves attention. YOU deserve attention, the good kind.

This is how you'll improve your mental health. If you need to find a counselor, you can check on the website Psychology Today and read about potential counselors' philosophies, specialties, education, fees and insurance accepted. You can also ask any doctors you have for who they recommend and ask your family and friends who their Drs. recommend.

CBT is a method of counseling that probably isn't all that helpful for you. You need something closer to psychotherapy that has depth and goes into personal history. I'm sure you'd rather not go into your past history but to heal those memories is very freeing. I hope you'll consider all that you need to do to experience being well. You haven't been given a chance to know what that even feels like. That's so wrong!! Just be aware that feeling so much better and freer than you do right now IS possible and is worth fighting for. Please take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself.