Sky High Anxiety

[calmbrook]

I have a foot fetish which I am very ashamed of. It came because of an abusive raising, especially from my mother. Mentally abusive , not sexual. I am heading for a second divorce (both marriages hated sex, my first one married 23 years and second a year and a half, the second one lied to me before we got married and was sexually mentally and physically abusive.) and my anxiety is sky high. Therapy and medicine does not help out my anxiety. Also , because of PTSD, my body shakes from anxiety and I don't know what to do. I felt a support group would help me.

I am a teacher by profession and everybody except for my ex 2 wives love me. But because of therapy medicine not seemingly having success, I feel a support system would be better, because I don't ask other people their problems, but there must be others out there sharing the same, and some succeeding to become survivors. Thank you.

[Louie35]

Having a fetish is nothing to be ashamed of. Welcome to the community. As far as the therapy aspect, maybe you can find someone that specializes in that type of thing. Keep sharing, you won't find any judgment here.

[calmbrook in reply to Louie35]

Thank you for your kind reply. The fact is I'm ashamed. I am looking for peers who understand me.

[Louie35 in reply to calmbrook]

Maybe some sort of a kink website, or reddit, i don't know, little out of my depth.......there is nothing wrong with it or you!!!!!

[Daesin]

OK, here’s an easy way to decide “should I be ashamed of my sexual link?”One-simple question: Does it involve animals or children?If it does, then you have got serious issues and yes shame is definitely one of the many negative things you need to be feeling.

But if we’re all talking about grown-ups here and you enjoy the curve of a foot in a raised heel with thin straps racing around an ankle and painted toes peeking out the end…. on an adult!! And she is willing, then you’re good. Nothing to be ashamed about. It’s a fun kink that many folks get into.

[calmbrook in reply to Daesin]

But my bigger problem is my Sky-high anxiety from life. I'd like to know if there is anyone whom has had success on having relief from it.

[Daesin in reply to calmbrook]

I think we’ve all had different levels of success on different days. I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I can walk into a store now and talk to the cashier without freaking out, on most days. Yet I’m still unable to walk into a medical facility without having cardiac distress.

I’m going to focus on the good though. I no longer sit in the car outside of the grocery store crying my eyes out & death gripping the steering wheel. On most days. I’m going to call that a success. Not a complete success, but I’m definitely on the right path. Is that what you’re looking for?

[calmbrook]

I only think of adults, but I feel it is a submissive act which I am ashamed to be needing submission.

[Daesin in reply to calmbrook]

Don’t be ashamed of your needs then. It can be very enriching to be a sub under the right conditions. Honestly it sounds like you’ve never had anyone show you how to work your kink in a healthy way. Because submission has nothing to do with being the weaker partner… not in this arena. Not when done on a healthy manner. I really hope you find a good therapist or dom to help you along your path.

[Hidden in reply to Daesin]

Their is no healthy way it's not normal u are giving false hope .......

[Daesin in reply to Hidden]

Normal is not a word that is used by any educated person. A behavior may not be typical, Or understood by the majority, but it’s not maladaptive. It is not evil it is not horrible and it is not destructive. So take your normal and go play elsewhere. This is a place of support not judgment.

[Hidden in reply to Daesin]

Telling the truth in love is vital the wounds of a friend are faithful darling..

[Daesin in reply to Hidden]

Striking out at people just for fun of it’s called being a bully. Using religion as your shield is called a hypocrite sweetheart.

[Hidden in reply to Daesin]

I hate religion so did jesus hypocrisy is not what he stood for I'm being honest but when mans sin is exposed he doesn't like it ..let me ask u a question ...?

[Hidden in reply to Daesin]

If you had a foot fetish and was a teacher and your thoughts were played on a huge screen infront of your employees and pupils would you be embarrassed?yes or no ?

[calmbrook in reply to Hidden]

If a husband and wife had a sexual act in a very modest way like most people do, and it would be put on a screen in front of everybody to see, would they not be embarrassed, even though they're act with very modest? Also in Christianity, there is no sin. Just confessed your priest, and it washes away.

[calmbrook in reply to calmbrook]

Also, all Christianity did in the last thousand years was in the name of their cross, slaughtering maiming and feeling blood in a ruthless way all over Europe and Asia. That is all your religion preaches. We love everybody Christianity says. We love to slaughter everybody and I hideous way. Keep your religion out of this. Go to a Christianity site and pour your heart out

[Hidden in reply to calmbrook]

Your talking about priest that's Catholicism not Christianity we don't claim it ...

[Daesin in reply to Hidden]

I don’t hide behind my words. You can change your name and hide but your cruel nature and ignorance still shine through. This is a place for support not your judgement and bullying. Go away.

[Bill181]

Don't b ashamed if it's pleasurable than it is enjoy it to me it's not that how should I say it not that freaky lol

[calmbrook in reply to Bill181]

Thank you for being so kind to reply. My foot fetish is just a tagalong. My bigger problem is anxiety. I don't know what to do about it. I am socially active, but my mind repeats over and over the problems I have in life, and now it's physically bothering me by having my body and my hands quivering. Ssris and therapy doesn't seem like it's really getting me anywhere. I feel I need some type of support group. Thank you

[Bill181 in reply to calmbrook]

I try listening to music when I start thinking alot go to YouTube try it

[Lazy_dog_lover]

I am not sure where the fetishized falls in with the other things, so I can’t address that. I was a teacher, also. It became a source of triggers and anxiety, so I had to leave. Yours sounds like a place that is comfortable.

I have never been married, so I am always curious if people feel they should be married. It sounds like they cause great pain for you. Fly solo and see what happens. It is perfectly fine to not be in relationships, especially when you are working on yourself.

I think one of the best things I have gained from working with a life coach is about an ounce of prevention. I have been learning about meditation, about forgiveness, and about reframing how I approach my world. I have watched experts in videos, listened to podcasts, read articles, and questioned everything I could think of. I journaled a lot, but shifted my journal from venting to reflecting. Reflecting on the wins more than the losses in a day. Reflecting on things that made me smile. Reflecting on things that I am grateful for.

[calmbrook in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

Thank you for your warm reply

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to calmbrook]

In the program I just finished we learned about GLAD journalling. This is a pretty good way to turn back from unhealthy emotions and remind you of good things. If you want to journal the bad things, you can put that down, but then G= gratitude: write down something that you are grateful for (big or small, person, thing, action, whatever...). L=learned: write down something you learned today (at work, in conversation, reading an article, observing..). A= accomplishment: Write down one thing you accomplished recently (keep in mind the mantra "I can achieve great things in small steps.") and D=delight (name anything that made you laugh or smile or encouraged you or made you aware of your surroundings).

[calmbrook]

I feel bad that some raucous came about through my post. I was under the impression that this was a friendly open supporting site .I just want advise in how to deal with my anxiety. It seems the foot fetish came abut because it creates some sort of comfort. However I feel it is not a way of me facing reality. I am looking for help coping without having to come onto a foot fetish or anxiety. Please keep this a friendly atmosphere. We should all be here for each other, and not to make rifts. Thank you.

[calmbrook]

I feel bad that some raucous came about through my post. I was under the impression that this was a friendly open supporting site .I just want advise in how to deal with my anxiety. It seems the foot fetish came abut because it creates some sort of comfort. However I feel it is not a way of me facing reality. I am looking for help coping without having to come onto a foot fetish or anxiety. Please keep this a friendly atmosphere. We should all be here for each other, and not to make rifts. Thank you.

[Hidden in reply to calmbrook]

I hope your not referring to me u asked I told u you clearly no that a foot fetish is an issue if your thoughts on feet were played on a huge screen infront of your employees would you feel shame ?

[calmbrook in reply to Hidden]

Every other religion, their symbol represents their purpose. There is only one religion, that there symbol means revenge revenge revenge. The cross means, kill anyone who does not agree with us, revenge. If you want to keep on harassing me, I know what to answer you back. Please keep your loving religion out of this picture. Nobody wants to hear it

[Hidden in reply to calmbrook]

OK but the cross represent sacrificial love jesus died in the place we deserved because of our sin ...