Taking it a day at a time

[nmn1024]

Hi, my name is Nancy and I have suffered from major depression for years. I have been on Lexapro, Remeron, and Trazadone for many, many years and they seem to keep me going. My problem right now is that my husband passed away on Oct. 12 of this year and I am really having a hard time with this. It just doesn't seem real to me. And with the holidays coming I just feel hopeless. My daughter and her newborn were living with me when my husband passed and when I wanted some financial help from her she just up and left. I don't think I will ever forgive her for bailing out on me when I needed her the most. My son calls me a couple of times a week to check up on me and I just feel he doesn't understand that I'm still hurting inside.

[Destinystar33]

Hi Nancy,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine. I feel so much compassion and love in my heart for you. I too suffer from anxiety disorders and depression. Four years ago my freshman year of high school, my aunt uncle and three little cousins died in a house fire, and my mental illnesses didn't take it so well in the beginning. I know how hard the holidays can be. I don't know if you're religious and I know after what happened with the fire I definitely wasn't believing in my Jesus anymore. But a year later I ran to him by just opening my heart up and saying I forgive you because you forgive me and I'll always love you. And every tear I dropped for my family was restored. His love carries me through the pain and I know it's hard to believe and you don't have to think about all the arguments and "rules" about God either but something I think may help you is knowing and trusting that he loves you. Keep trusting Him and He will get you through these financial and emotional burdens. Stay strong and know that everything happens for a reason. And in time, in even a years time things will change for the better if you just change your perspective. I know tears and yelling and brokenness might come, but trust me when I tell you that it will get better. I miss my angels everyday.. but I'm okay. And you'll be okay too. Depression sucks and the thoughts our minds get caught in can be so hopeless and scary but you're stronger. I promise you you're stronger. Get through your days even if they're not great. Just have a day even if it's not a good one. Relax and try finding some peace. I believe in you Nany. Praying for you right now.

Much love.

[nmn1024 in reply to Destinystar33]

Thank you for your kind words. Praying does help me.