mothers day without a me. other

[RcKitty]

reaching out to all those without mothers on mothers day. I lost my mother 7 years ago and it is still so hard for me. we did not have a good relationship, and she passed suddebly from complications of liver disease and I never had the chance to "fix" things , I feel a lot of guilt and regret . I was depressed way before she passed and I do beieve she suffered with a mental illness bur it was frowned upon In our family to talk about things like that. everything had to be perfect. with my depression I was far from the oerfect daughter I just wish I had the time the chance to have closure . I wish I had a time machine and knowing what I know now , resolve al those issues ,take back all those hurtful words spoken during our epic fights, and I would tell her much I loved her often...because we never said it to each other while she was alive. we were pretty much estranged when she passed, but I miss her so much my heart feels like it going to stop sometimes. but I try to remember that so many others face this day aswell without their mothers and maybe under similar circumstances so I do not feel so alone. it is the guilt that is hardest though

[Dahlia36]

Thank you for your post. My Mom died unexpectedly in September. Today is going to be the first Mother’s Day since she died and we’re spending it with my husband’s family. While I love my mother in law, I really don’t want to “celebrate” Mother’s Day because my pain is still so raw. I’ve lost family members before but I’ve never know grief to physically hurt the way it does now. I can relate to what you said about your heart because sometimes my heart literally hurts because I miss Mom so much. My mom and I were close but both of my parents suffered from substance abuse issues. I can’t imagine the guilt and pain you must be feeling. I know it’s easier said than done but try to forgive yourself. You and her were both dealing with life the best way you knew how to. No one’s perfect and I believe that deep down your mom knew you loved her despite the struggles you guys had. I also believe that when people pass and transition to the other side they gain an understanding that is beyond our comprehension-like they can see the big picture and everything makes sense. Your mom knows you love her, she knows that neither of you were perfect, and she loves you too. Have you tried journaling to your mom? It’s a good way to get your feelings out and it can give you a chance to say the things you wish you would have said. I write to my mom but I have to admit I go long stretches without writing because it’s too painful sometimes. I know it is easier said than done but try to forgive yourself. We aren’t perfect and although you and your mom had a rocky relationship she probably really understood deep down why things were the way they were. She wouldn’t want you beating yourself up for things in the past that you can’t change. Sending you my love and heartfelt thoughts. Try to be gentle with yourself.

[Marz21]

Hi, I really want to send you a loving cuddle as I think you could really do with one today 💗 I am a mum, my eldest is 21, youngest is 3. I believe your mum will want you to be kind to yourself no matter what has gone before. I have a fair amount of difficulties through my own mental health which fired up to a place I never thought I'd get through some 25 years back when my Dad died suddenly. Being a parent has lead me to struggle to understand my own parents but to also see parenting & life is a learning journey. I've learned from their good points & bad points as parents, but reckon I have still had plenty faults and that is being human I guess. Love is the most wonderful thing though. I have had my kids having fair spats with me and I have had a fair few myself with my mum. We do know we all have our connection though, and you will always have that with your mum, no matter what distance or times have come between you over your lives, part of her is always part of you, and you have always been part of her. I can see you have a beautiful heart and would be proud of you as a mum, absolutely. X

[JAYnLA]

Two years ago today I was flying across the country to say goodbye to my mom. I'm having a lot of feelings today. It started last night when I decided to bite the bullet and look at some old photos of her. The tears came and I'm glad. Sometimes we just need to HAVE the feelings, you know? I've been attending a grief group because I really didn't understand how profound grief can be. I thought it was just 'really really sad' - but it's not. It's more than being just sad. Thanks for posting this.

[hypercat54]

Hi I lost my mother 6 years ago on June 19th just 2 weeks after her 90th birthday and the funeral was 28th June. I really hate this month. I too had a very difficult relationship with my mother but I still miss her very much. I know how you feel. x

[jesca18]

My mother passed away when I was 9; I am now 30 years old. I can not believe it has been 21 years. Mother’s Day, birthdays, holidays... they are all difficult. My mother and I were just beginning to get close when she passed. Her not being in my life changed the person I am. I believe it has affected every aspect of my life. I never fully recovered. I will never be the same. After all this time I still have days where I am in denial. I have thoughts such as “is this really my life?” “I have to live my life without my mother?” It’s a unfortunate sad reality but it is what it is. I will see her again some day. My thoughts are with all of you today. May we find peace.

[Kat63]

I know it hurts.

My mother died about 18 months ago. Mother’s Day just feels weird and bad now.

[Underthestressvibe]

My mom passed away a week ago tonight. Her funeral was Saturday the day before Mother's Day. I'm 15 years younger than my brother and 11 years younger than my sister. Dad passed at 88 years in 2010.Brother passed in 2103 from Vietnam health issues. Mom was 94. She lived a good life. She was diagnosed with dementia in January and went to two nursing homes and hospice as we found out she had cancer three weeks ago. She was not well and didnt know what was going on the last two weeks. 😔. My ♥ goes out to all of you who lost their Mom.