A introduction to.. me.

[Mysterious_g]

Hello.. My name is Garrett. I am 16. zhere is my story:

When i was a little younger, i used to do something called "cutting". It helped me relieve some of the pain i had from just.. people around me. Back then, I would always be sad, because people around me were sad. Eventually i stopped cutting because I was caught. My parents yelled at me, forced me to stop, and took away the friends I had. It didnt help for much long. Originally, i felt better, but then that pain started building up over the years. I would start dating people, Ive had many girlfriends, and when one of them couldnt handle my unstableness, it hurt them too, and they broke up with me, which added a small toll.

at the present day, i really and truly have a feeling of loneliness and hurt.. no matter who I am with, i have to always faked my smile, i have to put on a mask in front of everyone. i try to distace myself from my parents so they wont notice anything. I have anxiety attacks.. a lot. About 2-3 times a day. its really bad. and sometimes it gets so bad that it effects other people just as bad.

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer]

Hi Garrett, I'm certainly not going to judge or yell at you, I would never want to. I am concerned about your cutting because I don't want you to hurt yourself. You can definitely always talk here. Is there anyone near to you that you can talk to like a school counselor? I know that cutting is out there a lot these days and I am guessing there are people who are familiar and want to help. Don't put on a mask anymore, that never feels good.. Do you know any other ways that you can reach out for help? Please tell me (us) how we can help. Anxiety attacks are scary and awful. We all can relate and just want to make them better in any way we can. What do you think?

[Mysterious_g in reply to kinikia95]

This was my last option, i talked to a therapist and he said this website was supposed to be the helping hand i needed . .? is that not what this is?

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer in reply to Mysterious_g]

Yes you can definitely talk here, I was just suggesting some counseling as well.

[Mysterious_g in reply to kinikia95]

Oh okay... thanks.. i hope this place helps

[herhaz]

Hi Garrett,

I just wanted to say that cutting used to be something that I utilized to release and calm me down. I don't really do that much anymore, but I recently talked to a psychiatrist who was the first to not judge me when I had told her about it. Although, like most will tell you, its not ideal she also told me that it's common and that if I do it to take precautions like applying Neosporin and bandages to be as safe as possible.

I'm really new to this site, but I hope that might help?

[Mysterious_g in reply to herhaz]

Well cutting isnt really my issue... i said in the post i used to. its been awhile, and im not tempted much anymore

[herhaz in reply to Mysterious_g]

I was just suggesting in case it comes up again.

I do know the feeling of masking myself and faking my emotions. For a long time my biggest problem was subconsciously replacing my emotions with anger, this is still a problem but I am working on it. I'm 21 now and it's gotten a lot better with my friends, I kind of surround myself only with people who understand me fully. It's not a lot of people but it makes it a lot easier.

[Mysterious_g in reply to herhaz]

Ahaha yeah.. i try to surround myself with those people too. i really hope you get better ^-^

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer]

Herhaz, I'm glad you can find people that understand you fully. Please never take that for granted because you are fortunate. I'm glad that you are doing better, thats a huge accomplishment.