on my way to group therapy for young ... - Anxiety and Depre...

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on my way to group therapy for young adults who selfharm

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Most parents have no idea when their kids are cutting, most times there's no signs no odd behaviors,some don't understand why we would make our skin bleed day after day, days ago when i first went to group therapy and saw kids my age all of us still in high school 18 and under, if a stranger walked into the room they wouldn't be able to tell the damages we made on our skin our faces hid the truth so well including mine, all of us had 2 lives,2 different people, one who can laugh go to parties have dinner with mom and dad..... and the other one where we hide our razors and bleed our pain away. I have my good days and on the bad days i rely on my parents and older brothers to keep me afloat. Today is one of the great days, and on great days i take selfies

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Hiya SweetSymphony! Great to see you're having a great day! :) I'm not a cutter (nor was I when I was your age), but I know how hard it is to deal with overwhelming emotional pain. I tried to commit suicide a couple of times when I was high school. I can't begin to imagine, or understand, what fuels the need to cut yourself. But I can empathize and offer my hand in friendship and support you as best I can. Just remember, you're not alone.

It doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down...it matters how many more times you get back up and fight! If you ever need to talk or vent, we're all here for ya!

Brian :)

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Hidden in reply to bridder01

Why did you try to commit suicide in high school if you don't mind me asking, i still haven't told my therapist the reason behind my cutting im pretty sure he knows from my parents but im not ready to talk about that yet

bridder01
bridder01 in reply to Hidden

Well Symphony...that's a toughie....I guess that, back when I was in high school (you gotta remember, this is the early 1990's for me), I was made to feel so bad about myself that I just didn't want to live anymore. I had taken so much verbal/emotional abuse from classmates (girls in particular) because I looked different. I've struggled with weight my entire life, and when you're at that age, others can just be extremely cruel. At that age, it's hard for others to think that other people have feelings, or the damage they cause with their words. So, in my case, I came to a breaking point. I didn't want to endure all that pain anymore. I tried to commit suicide on a couple of occasions. I was even in school when my guidance counselor thought I was going to try suicide in between classes one day. She was so scared for my safety that she called the nearest hospital to come and get me. When I got out of the hospital two weeks later, I felt worse than when I went in. I even tried to commit suicide there and they put the straight jacket on me and put me in a cell. I can't begin to tell you how ashamed I felt or how much more worse I felt because I felt that my parents would never love me again. I felt totally alone. I would definitely never wish that kind of pain or those feelings on anyone! And back in the 90's there wasn't much in the way of mental health care, not like there is today. In that respect, you've got a much better system now because they know so much more about mental health today.

But, somehow, I was able to overcome it. It wasn't easy, and it sure didn't happen overnight. You have to want to get better, and be willing to fight those demons that haunt you. When you're a teenager, it can seem like you're all alone in your struggle, that no one ever truly understands, and that there's nothing out there that can make things better......

Well, let me tell you..........all that is a load of garbage! You're not alone! There are people, especially here, who can understand (and do understand because they've been through the same ordeal), and things WILL get better. It won't be easy, and there'll be some rough days ahead.....it's in those days when we truly discover what matters most to us in life

"Courage does not always roar.....Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'"

If you ever need a shoulder to lean on, I'm here for ya :)

Brian

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Hidden in reply to bridder01

Sheesh im sorry but yeah high school can definitely be cruel i hope you doing better

bridder01
bridder01 in reply to Hidden

I still have my rough days....but hey, it's never as bad as it seems!

Remember, one little victory......

Brian :)

Hey SweetSymphony I’m sure you already know this but i just wanted to say you’re such a brave, strong and beautiful person x I hope the group therapy helped you ... i never cut but i did try to commit suicide a few times when i was a teenager so I understand how strong and brave you have to be to seek help 💕 keep going hunxx

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Hidden in reply to Hope4321

Thank you, and im glad you're still here with us, suicide is never the answer

Pocha45
Pocha45 in reply to Hidden

You are beautiful glad you had a,good day . Life Is hard enough but with mental illness it's even more of a challenge. It definitely has no face looking at you. .in that pic is like you are on top of the world.

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Hidden in reply to Pocha45

Thank you and you're right mental illness does not have a face

bridder01
bridder01 in reply to Hope4321

I've been down that road too Hope. It's hard to see past the pain sometimes. That's when you need your friends and family the most. I'm definitely glad you're here :)

Hugs, :)

Brian

Hope4321
Hope4321 in reply to bridder01

Glad you are too

My girly so pretty 😍😍. And yess to group therapy im glad you're going back

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Hidden in reply to Callmedanielle

Thanks lol, and i should be thanking you for pushing me to give group therapy a chance, we starting in a few minutes

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Can I just say...I love that pic! So beautiful! and your right by just looking at someone we do not know what they are going through. We all hide under masks very well, my cousins daughter hid this very well until someone saw something or she mentioned/joked about it at school.She did the cutting also. School officials were alerted and she was taken into the hospital, the family was in total shock.How did they not see this? Reason being...they were so self involved in themselves in their problems that she was forgotten. And this reminds me that my children are growing up in a different era and they are constantly exposed to so much, and I will try my best to see any signs so that I can seek help if needed. Thank you for sharing and glad that you had a great day!

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

Yes sometimes there are no signs especially for us growing up nowadays makes it impossible for parents, my parents thought i was only cutting my arms but that wasn't the case there were other places, most people only check the arms, not the legs or different places

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

Make them know you're here, willing to listen, no judgement

If you ever get a chance, listen to "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John. To me, that is a song about fighting depression. It may not be now, or cool, but it's definitely a moving song and it makes me think of everyone I've met so far on here.

Hope you enjoy the song :)

Brian

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Hidden in reply to bridder01

Love Elton John

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Thank you, yes I am like that since I knew how it was for me not having a parent I could turn to, always afraid. I would like to understand better, is there any literature this besides the internet? My daughter will be going into middle school next year so I can already fear all the things she will have to face and one never knows could be her, friends etc. Just like to be educated, prepared.

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

Thank you and yes its definitely a struggle that's why i want to take advantage of the good days

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

Yes its just one earing it have a little clip at the end to attach itself around, its roses

"A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet"

That's a novel idea.... :)

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Hidden in reply to bridder01

People on this site would make good friends we're practically on the same boat

Good to see you having a good day, you look wonderful, enjoy your good days xxx

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Hidden in reply to Florida1959

Thank you :)

I used to cut, too. I'm 53 now, but sadly enough I went through some major depression and started cutting again. I've only done it a few times. I threw away my cutting device: haircutting scissors. There's this pleasure to feel the pain. Like there's no other way to feel alive. That's what I feel, anyway.

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Hidden in reply to User1964

I know exactly what you mean, sometimes i do it when i feel numb trying to see if im still here or simply just existing and other times i do it to match the pain i feel on the inside

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Hidden in reply to User1964

Im glad you threw them away

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