17 and feeling overwhelmingly sad

Hi, I'm 17 years old, just about to turn 18. I don't know the first day that i woke up and felt hopeless and overwhelmingly sad, but it occurred about two years ago, when i was about 15. I don't have a perfect analogy for how it feels, but the closest I've gotten is that it feels like a hole that's just slightly too tall for me to climb out of, yet i can see the sun overhead.

Most days i wake up and i feel sad right as i start the day. I go to school or to work and i put on a fake mask of happiness, but deep down, everything feels empty regardless. It even caused my girlfriend to leave, as i took a defensive stance against being sad by being an asshole. I feel some moments of happiness, with friends or when i'm with people, but it all feels fleeting. I'm scared to tell my parents about it, because i don't want them to change the way they look at me or have to put them through the grief of having a fucked up son. I guess what i am asking is if there's any possible way that i could get help for free or for low cost, so my parents don't have the burden on their shoulders. (i tried a school counselor but i live in a pretty small town and everyone talks, so that went bad pretty quickly). I don't know if i need meds or help or just someone to talk to, but i've realized that i need to face my problem directly and try to fix it, rather than continue to run away or try to duck it.

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  • Hi, now this is all my opinion but you dont need to do anything you dont feel comfortable with obviously, I think your parents would much rather know now and get you the help you need, than find out after something tragic happens and find out that youve been dealing with this depression the whole time, depression cant exactly be cured but it can be fixed if that makes sense, it takes time and work but it does get better, and it can be a lot easier to do that when you have good support, i can promise it wont change the way they look at you at all, i was always worried about the same thing with my friends but the more support you have and the more people you have to talk to the easier it is to deal with. Maybe look into some confidential support groups in your area, that way no one can relesase information you say in the group but you still have people to talk to. Stay strong, i know you can get through this :)

  • I think your parents should know. That way you won't have to hid where you're going when you go for support. I wish I had known about this at your age but look in to peer support.

    Through my college councillor I heard about peer support groups. Just type your state name or the closest city and depression peer support. There will be a site for sure. Peer support isn't costly, I did an anxiety program for 10 weeks once a week and it was $50.

  • Just to say hi. You are not fucked up. Many people have a mental illness. Well done for trying to face up to this. I'm sorry I'm tired and don't have any great suggestions at the moment but I see you have good advice here already.

  • Believe me your parents will be relieved if anything if you tell them how your feeling. It sounds like you do have depression as how you've described how your feeling are all symptoms of depression. Have you spoke to your gp about this as they will be better able to give you the best treatment. You can ask to be referred to talking therapy also. Have a look online at young minds there is loads of info there and a free helpline where you can talk to someone about how your feeling.

  • There's also support line there number is 01708 765 200.they provide confidential emotional support to young people.

  • Hi please check out kooth.com for young people.

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