Hello

[rios3]

Hello I am a mom to a 10 year old boy who is newly diagnosed with Multi Generation ADHD/Anxiety. We knew that there was some behavioral issues since he was young but didn't think is was ADHD because we never received complaints from his teachers. All his issues occurred at home. He was always very irritable, angry,emotional, physical if he didn't get his way and played rough with his siblings and cousins. We did see a therapist for a few months whom told us that he was not the problem and that we should stay away from the family that would treat him different. She stated she didn't believe he had ADHD because of the way he would put back the toys she had in her office. I am still thinking that he might have something more than just ADHD. He has always struggled with socializing since he was a toddler. He doesn't like making friends, he runs or walks away from random kids who approach him when we are out in public. He can't stand germs from other people touching him or his belongings. Now he isn't the cleanest kid either, which has me puzzled at why he is that way with others. No one can touch his food or drinks because he will throw it away and refuse to eat it. So I finally had to get him tested this last school year because his grades were starting to drop and his teachers started sending me notes/calling me that he was being disruptive in class. Pediatrician did the parent/teacher assessment forms and concluded her diagnosis and started him on low dose Concerta XL and we have gradually increased his dose. She had to add Guanfecin for the afternoon because he would be very irritable after Concerta starts wearing off and he takes Melatonin before bed because he also has insomnia. My husband was very concerned about the long term effects of being on the medication that I am doing more research on how to wean him off as he gets older without having withdrawals and turning to illegal alternatives. It's a scary thing to have to prepare yourself for these things with your child. Now while I am not sure if my husband had ADHD when he was younger because my mother in law never knew about it but from the stories she and my father in law tell me about how he behaved as a child makes perfect sense that he may have. My son was also born a little premature and I've read that it could be a cause as well. The thing I am struggling with now is the anxiety and guilt from my son always getting angry at us when he doesn't get his way and calls me a bad mother/father, he hates us, he knows we wish he were dead, he wants all of us dead, he wishes his sisters were never born, I have 2 holes in my walls, broken or destroys belongings, I mean the list goes on and it's tearing my heart apart. Both sides of our family don't understand him and continue to say that he isn't normal, that then contributes to his depression even more. They tell us we need to punish him or spank him to straighten him out. A lot of non american cultures don't realize that this is a real illness and seem to think that it's just the child being spoiled or bratty. I hope that pretty soon my family (my household) can get thru this and help my boy out and one day he can prove everyone wrong by being the successful man God made him to be! I also hope that I can learn from everyone else who is on the same journey as we are.

[Mama_Maehem]

Hugs and sympathy!

I've got two daughters, and we've been through a host of mental health struggles. I really identify with a lot of what you're saying.

My younger one has ODD, we went through so much pain when she couldn't control herself. She was 5, biting friends, saying the worst things in the world to me, almost got kicked out of daycare... And then she'd feel remorse, and take it out on herself. She'd harm herself, and talk about wishing she didn't exist.

My older one...we're currently still working on getting diagnosis of ADHD. We thought it was anxiety (like me), but now it seems something else is going on. The system is far from perfect. And at the same time, my husband is going through the process of getting himself diagnosed with Adult ADHD.

I've been in a lot of the same places as you. Thinking I was a terrible mom, having relatives comment that if they were the parent, they'd beat my kid for acting that way.

You are a good mom. You are trying to help your child, when there's still a lot of things we don't know about mental health.

I've been learning that much of this stuff is related. Anxiety, ADHD, ODD, depression, autism spectrum, OCD. I hang on to the hope that we have learned so much since the past, and we'll continue to learn more. I wish there was an easy fix, but for now, we just have to do the best we can.

[rios3 in reply to Mama_Maehem]

Thank you! It's a struggle for sure but there are so many resources and of course social communities like these to be able to help one another.

[AngelamarieQ]

I’m sorry you are going through rough times with your son.

I really think you have to seek the help of a pediatric psychiatrist. Clearly, your son has mental health issues and he is approaching puberty, which makes it worst.

ADHD usually goes along with other issues like ODD, OCD, anxiety, etc. Your son’s behavior( as per your recount) demonstrates he has all of the above symptoms.

Don’t delay treatment and have faith in God to guide you.

Best of luck

[rios3 in reply to AngelamarieQ]

Thank You AngelamarieQ! Yes we are already seeing a Pediatrician and Psychiatrist and he does have all, which is the Multi Generation ADHD. He does show remorse and apologizes with in 20 minutes after saying those things. It's just a matter of helping him control his impulsive thoughts and thinking before blurting them out. It will take some time but I know we will eventually get to a point where he can control himself. And my husband and I as parents are working on our patients with him as well. It's difficult but we will get there. I know God will give us the strength to get thru these challenges everyday!

[Penn66]

Hello rios3

I’m sorry to hear of the struggles in your home and your son who has recently been diagnosed.

My son has never received a formal diagnosis but I call it ADD along with anxiety.

He is on concerta and Wellbutrin.

And since he is on the Wellbutrin he has to take melatonin every night.

The concerta helps him to focus and the Wellbutrin is for depression and anger.

I hope to get him diagnosed by a psychiatrist this fall. I’m concerned whether he is on the right medication.

It’s a difficult journey. Hang in there!